Dating Advice

Communicating with Women on Tinder: A Guide by Lisa

Initiating Conversations on⁤ Tinder

Starting a conversation with a simple “Hi” or “Hello” seems to be outdated. Instead, consider⁤ initiating with something unusual yet intriguing. For instance, you could ask, “What are the three essential items in your perfect breakfast?” or‌ “What’s something ​everyone loves but you don’t?” or even “What’s your favourite dinosaur?”

Exuding Charm and Wit

While there’s room for charm, it’s crucial to ⁤avoid coming off as sleazy. Humour is⁢ welcome, but remember, it’s not a stand-up comedy show; you don’t need to outshine your match. Many men tend to overdo it,​ either becoming too explicit too soon or trying to appear ‌overly⁣ clever, which can come ​off as arrogant. ⁣Be yourself and allow her to express⁢ her personality as well. Answer her questions with a​ blend ⁤of humour and honesty. Confidence is attractive, but avoid bragging. While‍ a bit of cockiness can be appealing, arrogance is a turn-off. If you’re unsure⁢ about the difference, it’s best to steer clear of both.

Complimenting on Tinder

Complimenting on Tinder can be tricky. While some women may not mind⁢ direct, objectifying compliments, it’s impossible to⁢ know who they ⁣are until ⁢it’s too late. Therefore, it’s safer to compliment something ‍in their pictures. Ask about the location of the photo, compliment their outfit, or comment on their ‍apparent happiness. You can tell her she looks ⁢great or beautiful, but avoid going beyond that in a chat.

Engaging Conversation Topics for Tinder

Good conversation topics include television shows,⁢ movies, ⁢travel, current events (excluding Trump), your city,​ your job ⁣(limit it to three statements), ⁣your ideal weekend, ⁤food (especially breakfast items), things you love ‌to⁢ hate, fashion, books, and authors.‍ Generally, keep the conversation⁢ positive and avoid complaining.

Topics to Avoid on‌ Tinder

Steer clear of discussing politics (especially Trump), your exes, the struggles of being single, your intelligence, the stupidity of others, ⁢your favourite route to Aberdeen, masturbation, and Eurovision.

Moving from Online to In-Person

After a few days of chatting, it’s acceptable to suggest⁣ meeting for a‍ date. Allow her to choose the location and time to ensure​ she feels comfortable. If‌ she’s open to your suggestions, propose a pub or a ⁢place that’s busy but not intimidating. Discussing the‍ pros⁢ and cons of different venues can be a bonding experience. Remember ⁣to maintain a non-creepy vibe at all times.

Handling a Dwindling Conversation

If ⁢the conversation is losing steam, ⁣don’t fret. Perhaps you’re ‍both tired, she’s juggling multiple chats, ⁣or you’re tired of her⁣ gap year stories. Simply say⁣ you need to go,​ express that you enjoyed the conversation, and hope to catch⁢ up soon. She might be more receptive the next time you chat, provided she doesn’t block you.

Recognising Disinterest and Handling Rejection on⁢ Tinder

If your match doesn’t respond or responds with⁤ one-word answers,⁣ it could mean one of two ⁢things: they’re either madly in love with you and too shy to express it, or ​they’re ⁢not interested. In reality, it’s ‌almost always the latter. Don’t take it personally. It can be disheartening,‌ especially if⁣ you’ve put ‍in a lot of effort, but ⁤there⁢ could be numerous reasons why she’s not interested. It’s best ⁤to accept the rejection gracefully, chalk it up to experience, wish her a pleasant evening (sincerely), and move on. Hearing “you’re not my type” from someone you’re not interested in is no big deal⁢ –‍ you’d only be upsetting yourself.

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Things to Steer Clear of During a Dispute with Your Partner by Lisa

Avoid ‍These ‌8 Mistakes When Arguing With⁢ Your ⁢Significant Other

Disagreements ⁤are a ‍natural ⁤part of any relationship, ⁣whether they’re about household chores, hurtful ⁤comments, ⁤or ‌home decor.‍ The key is how you handle these disagreements.

Experts suggest that arguing fairly can actually strengthen your relationship. However, resorting to personal ⁢attacks can damage ⁣the⁢ trust, ‍respect, and intimacy you’ve built​ with your partner.

RELATED: Practices That Can Undermine Trust in Relationships ⁤

“Disputes can either fortify the relationship,‍ leading to growth ⁤and progress, or weaken it, causing resentment and leaving​ issues ⁣unresolved,” says‍ Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, a private‍ practice therapist ‌in Studio City, CA.

Goldberg suggests that effective arguing, which could be better termed as a⁤ discussion, involves ‌open communication, active listening, validation of the⁢ other person’s perspective, empathy, and a ⁣focus on⁣ finding solutions⁤ rather than assigning blame.⁤ On ‌the other hand, ​ineffective arguments ⁤can leave both parties ⁣feeling misunderstood⁢ and doubtful that change will occur.

Dr. Nathan Baumann,⁤ a Denver-based clinical ⁢psychologist,​ notes that​ unproductive​ argument tactics often stem from a need to protect oneself from uncomfortable⁣ emotions and a desire to punish to prevent future hurt.

RELATED: Why a Lack of Arguments Can Be a Warning Sign

So, what argument techniques should you avoid? Therapists recommend​ avoiding⁤ the following harmful strategies.

1. Attacking Your Partner’s Character

For instance, if your partner comes home late without notifying​ you, ⁣accusing them ‌of being “unreliable” ​or “uncaring” is a direct ⁢attack on their character. This approach ⁤is ⁣unlikely to elicit the ⁣understanding and compassion you’re seeking, ⁣says Alyse Freda-Colon,‌ LCSW, a private practice ​therapist.

Instead, focus on the specific incident.​ Saying, “I felt disregarded when you didn’t inform me you’d be home late” is more effective than “You’re‌ so selfish.”

2. Bringing‌ Up Past Issues

While it⁤ may be tempting to mention past instances when your partner ⁣hurt you during an argument, Goldberg warns‍ that‌ this can ⁣escalate the ‍situation and put your partner on​ the defensive.

RELATED: How‌ to Navigate a Relationship Dispute

Moreover, it⁣ can distract from the current issue, preventing you from resolving⁣ it. If you ‌notice a​ concerning pattern‍ in your partner’s behavior, it’s best to address it immediately rather than letting your resentment build up.

3. Making Comparisons

Imagine how you’d feel if your partner⁢ compared you to someone else during ​an ​argument. It’s unfair to ⁢compare your partner ⁤to others, as no two relationships are ‌identical.

“Focus on the unique dynamics of your relationship and collaborate to find⁣ solutions‍ that align with your needs and values,” advises Goldberg.

RELATED: The 5 Conflict Styles⁤ & When to Use Them in⁤ Your Relationship

4. Overgeneralizing

During​ arguments with your partner, avoid using absolute terms like “always” and “never,” advises ‌ Dr. Scott Lyons, a licensed holistic⁤ psychologist. These blanket‌ statements can make your partner⁢ defensive and are likely untrue.

Instead, provide a specific and recent example of ‌your partner’s behavior and how it affected‍ you, suggests Lienna Wilson, PsyD, a private practice clinical psychologist.

5. Stonewalling

Refusing to engage with your partner ​during a⁤ conflict, also known as “stonewalling” or “the silent treatment,” can be more harmful than‍ you might think. ​

This‌ could involve scrolling through⁣ your phone while ​your partner is trying to discuss an issue, ignoring⁤ their questions, or abruptly leaving the ‌room, says Nina Batista, ⁣LCSW, a private practice therapist.

“Stonewalling ⁢not only fails to resolve ‍the problem but also makes the other person feel isolated and unimportant,” Goldberg points‍ out.

If you feel overwhelmed or‌ too emotionally ‍charged to address the issue, Suzette Bray,⁢ LMFT, a licensed therapist in private practice, suggests taking a break. However, it’s important to communicate this to your partner rather than abruptly leaving the room.

“Stonewalling is more like a punishment,” explains Baumann. “If it becomes a habit or a typical‍ response to conflict, it can ‌be hard to break.”

RELATED: Signs That ⁤Your Relationship May Be ‍Headed for Divorce

“Stonewalling prevents ‍the mutual resolution of ‌a problem,”‍ adds Baumann, “increasing the emotional ⁣distance‍ between partners and making ⁢it less likely that you will argue fairly in the future.”

6. Triangulation

While‍ it’s okay to ⁢seek advice from ⁢a friend or family member about a conflict⁤ with your partner, asking them to intervene directly can exacerbate‍ the situation. This is known‌ as triangulation, and it can put your loved ⁤ones in an uncomfortable position.

“Keep intimate matters within the relationship and seek support from a ⁢trusted family member, friend, or therapist whom you both agree to involve,”⁣ advises Batista.

7. Deflection

“Posing oneself as the innocent party is another destructive strategy,” says Dr. Brian Tierney, PhD, The ‍Somatic Doctor. “It’s more effective to take personal responsibility for⁤ one’s contribution to the ‍escalation process.”

Admitting your own mistakes ‌can​ encourage your partner to do the same. Show that you can acknowledge your‌ role in ‍the⁢ conflict.

RELATED: How to Disagree Respectfully With Your Partner During Difficult Times

Remember, the goal should be mutual understanding rather than winning the argument, says Bray.

“Ask yourself: would you rather be right or happy?” she advises. “Being happy involves solving the problem so that the⁤ relationship can move forward.”

8. Overly ⁣Defending Yourself

It’s natural⁣ to feel defensive when your ⁤partner points out something you did that upset them. However, immediately defending yourself‍ can invalidate your partner’s feelings.

RELATED: How to Recover⁤ From a Major Argument With a Partner

“It can seem ⁤like you’re making excuses for your behavior and not really caring about how it affected your partner,” explains Batista.⁤

As difficult as ‍it may be, ‌try to genuinely listen to your​ partner’s concerns and empathize⁤ with their feelings. This approach can help your partner‌ feel ‌acknowledged and understood, allowing you to reach a resolution more ‌quickly.

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How to Determine if It’s Time to Become Exclusive with Your Partner by Lisa

Embracing the digital age has revolutionized dating, offering a plethora⁢ of options. However, there comes a time when we need to consider exclusivity. Here ⁢are some⁤ signs that you might be ready to take your relationship to the next level:

1. You refer to ⁤them as your partner

If ⁢you find yourself referring to them as your boyfriend or ⁢girlfriend, it’s a clear sign that you’re ready for a monogamous relationship.

2. ⁢You’ve lost interest in flirting with others

If you’re no longer interested‌ in flirting with others and find yourself turning away potential admirers, it’s a ⁣sign that you’re content with your current relationship.

3. You’re swiping left more often

If you’re swiping left more often than not, it’s a sign that‌ you’re not interested in starting something new and are content with your current relationship.

4. You talk about them to your friends

If your friends have noticed that you talk about your partner a lot, it’s a clear sign that they’re on your mind and you’re ready to make it official.

5. You’re taking better care of‍ yourself

If you find‍ yourself making healthier‌ choices and taking better care of⁤ yourself, it’s a sign that you want to be the best version of ‌yourself⁤ for your partner.

6. You’re excited to see them

If you’re genuinely excited to see your partner and not just for the ‌physical intimacy, it’s ⁤a sign that you’re emotionally invested in the relationship.

7. They’re a part of your weekend plans

If you find yourself⁤ making plans with your partner for the weekend, it’s a sign that ​you enjoy their company and want to spend more time with them.

8. You use ‘we’ when talking about future plans

If you find yourself using ‘we’ when discussing future plans, it’s ‌a sign that you see your partner as a part of your future.

9. You’ve shared a couple’s selfie on social media

If you’ve shared a couple’s selfie on social media and tagged them, it’s ⁢a sign that you’re ready to announce your relationship to the world.

10. There’s more than ‌one toothbrush in your bathroom

If there’s more than one toothbrush in your bathroom, it’s a ⁣sign that your relationship⁢ has progressed beyond casual dating.

11. You’re worried about disappointing them

If you ⁢find yourself going out‌ of your way to avoid ‍disappointing your partner, it’s ⁤a sign that you‍ care about their feelings and are invested in the relationship.

12. Your conversations are getting deeper

If your conversations have progressed from casual topics to more personal ones,⁣ it’s a sign that you’re comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings‌ with your partner.

13. You’re comfortable discussing⁣ the future of your relationship

If you’re comfortable ⁤discussing the future of your relationship and where it’s headed, it’s a sign that you’re ready for a serious commitment.

14. You think about them randomly

If you find yourself thinking about your partner randomly throughout the ‌day, it’s ⁤a sign that they’re always on your mind.

15. You feel that they feel the same way

If you⁢ feel that your partner feels the same way about you, it’s a sign that you’re ⁢both ready‍ for a committed relationship.

16. You’ve been dating for a while

If ‍you’ve been dating for a while and⁣ are⁣ still interested in each ⁢other, it’s‍ a sign that you’re ready for ​a committed relationship.

17. You’ve had‌ your first argument and resolved it

If you’ve ⁣had your first argument ⁢and managed to resolve it, it’s a sign that you’re able to communicate effectively and work through issues together.

18. You’re past the ⁢’playing⁤ it cool’ phase

If you’re past the ‘playing​ it ⁣cool’ phase and are comfortable​ showing your feelings, it’s a sign that you’re ready for a serious relationship.

19. You’ve stopped dating⁢ other people

If you’ve stopped dating other people and are focusing on your current relationship, it’s a sign that you’re ready for exclusivity.

20. You got‌ engaged on Christmas Day

If you got engaged on Christmas Day, it’s definitely time ⁢to commit to your partner and ⁢leave your single days behind.

Further​ Reading:

How to present your best self on Bumble

The do’s and don’ts of dating in the modern⁣ age

How to send nudes responsibly in the digital age

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Identifying if a Girl is Interested in You by Lisa

10 Expert-Endorsed Indications That She’s Really Into You

Men ‌often ⁤find women’s‌ flirting style too subtle, while women complain about⁣ men⁢ being too aggressive ⁤and⁤ overt. Men are ⁤usually ‌more direct, using pickup lines, approaching ​strangers, and openly complimenting ⁤women. Women, on the other hand, ‌are⁤ more subtle, which can leave men feeling‌ like​ they’re‍ not being flirted with at ‌all. ⁢However, the reality‍ is that women do flirt, but their signs are often missed by men. This is even backed up by ⁢ scientific research. Therefore, it’s crucial for men to be attentive.

We consulted two dating experts to ​provide⁢ ten solid⁣ indications that ⁤the woman​ you’re⁣ interacting with is interested in you romantically, not just being friendly. Their ‍insights into the dynamics of flirtation are quite⁤ enlightening.


How to Determine If She’s Really Into You


Dr. Gary Brown, a⁤ renowned couples therapist ​in Los Angeles, emphasizes the significance of body‌ language: “Around 80 percent of our communication is non-verbal. One of the more understated ​signs ⁤that ‌a woman is interested⁢ in you‌ romantically is ⁤her non-verbal flirting. This could be a simple wink or a lingering gaze.”

It’s also important not to overthink‌ things. Instead, base your approach to ‍flirting on your understanding of friendship.

Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, a nationally recognized psychotherapist and author ​of ⁤ Training Your Love ⁣Intuition, advises, “Think about⁢ how you know your male friends⁤ like you! A healthy friendship includes regular communication, shared laughter, and mutual ‍respect.”

With the help of⁣ these romance experts, we’ve⁤ compiled a list of subtle signs of female​ flirtation to help you⁤ distinguish between friendship and romantic interest.

She Smiles Frequently

Excessive smiling is a sign that she’s happy⁢ in your company. It’s also a way of making a positive impression, ⁢as people naturally respond better to ​smiling, happy faces.

She Rarely Looks at Her Phone ⁣When ⁣You’re Around

If she keeps her ‍phone in her purse, it’s a clear sign that she values your ⁣company more than⁤ anything else that‍ might be ⁢happening.

She Shares Food or Drinks With You

Sharing food ‌is an⁤ intimate act. If she’s​ willing ​to share her meal or drink with you, it’s a‍ strong​ indication of affection.

She⁣ Maintains Eye Contact With You

Extended eye contact is intimate and creates a ⁤bond. If she frequently seeks out your gaze, it’s ⁢a good sign she’s into you.

She⁣ Opens Up About Her Personal Life

If she’s⁣ sharing details⁤ about her family, career goals, or childhood, it’s because ‍she wants you to know more about her – and perhaps⁢ she wants to know more about you too.

She Makes Definite⁢ Plans to Meet Up‍ With You Again

If she’s making specific‍ plans to see you again‍ soon, it’s a ‍clear sign⁣ she likes⁢ you. This sign is even ⁤stronger if ⁢she’s willing to do‌ something out ⁤of her comfort zone ⁤just to spend time with⁢ you.

She Enjoys Spending Time With You

If she’s happy to prolong your hangout and is⁤ reluctant to ⁢part ways, it’s ‌a good sign she’s ​interested.

She​ Shows ⁢Interest in Your Life, Job & Passions

When a woman is interested in a man, she often asks about his work, hobbies, and future plans.​ These questions indicate her ⁢interest in you as a potential partner.

She Always Looks Her⁢ Best‍ When⁣ You’re Around

If she’s putting a lot of ‍effort ‍into her appearance ⁤when you’re around, ‌it’s a sign she’s trying to⁤ impress you.

She’s ⁤Comfortable Touching ⁣You

If she’s frequently touching you or leaning into you, it’s a good sign she’s interested.

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Steps to Remove a Hickey by Lisa

Effective Ways to Eliminate⁣ a⁤ Hickey (You’ll Thank Us Later)

Our editorial team at AskMen conducts comprehensive research ‌and⁤ reviews on the best gear, services, ‍and lifestyle essentials. We may earn a⁣ commission if​ you purchase a product or service by clicking⁣ a ‌link in this article.

Chances are,​ if you’re reading this article, you’re seeking a quick solution to ‍erase that conspicuous mark on your neck, unmistakably known as a‌ hickey. Why the rush to hide it? While a⁢ hickey might earn you some bragging rights among your peers, it’s often viewed ‍as embarrassing and inappropriate by parents, ⁤teachers, and older individuals. ​It’s​ a clear sign that ‍you’ve been involved in some passionate kissing recently, which can make those⁤ who feel responsible for you uncomfortable, and ​perhaps even a little upset.

However, hickeys are just a part ⁤of the broader romantic and sexual landscape — ‌even animals give them to ⁤each other. Referred to as ‍”love bites” in the ​animal kingdom, this phenomenon⁢ was first studied and documented by psychologist Havelock Ellis in the 1800s. In his research, Ellis found ⁤that male mammals⁣ would grip their female counterparts’ necks with their teeth before⁤ mating. He concluded that this was a⁣ display of the male asserting his dominance over the female (essentially the animal version of ⁣a dominant/submissive relationship). As you’re aware ​(since you’re ⁢reading this), the human hickey is not gender-specific.

But if your parents (or worse, hers) are not⁣ willing to overlook ‌that mark on your neck, even after you’ve enlightened them with some scientific and historical facts about why it’s entirely normal, you’re likely going to want⁤ to try ⁤and ‍erase it as effectively and quickly ​as possible. Don’t ⁣worry ​— there are numerous methods and products available that can​ help conceal that love mark, regardless of ⁤its size. Here’s an explanation of ‌how hickeys are formed, the most effective ways to eliminate them, and a few products that can help make them virtually invisible.


Understanding Hickeys


Of course, you know how it happened. But what’s happening ​beneath the skin while you’re being passionately⁢ kissed on the neck? “A hickey is essentially a form of bruising,” explains plastic surgeon Dr. Ryan Neinstein. “Hickeys are formed as⁢ a result of external suction on the‍ skin surface from kissing with suction or light biting. This suction causes the capillaries (tiny blood vessels) near the top layer of the dermis to burst, causing blood to leak out and collect in one ⁢area, forming ⁢a hickey. Areas with very​ soft skin (like the front ‍and sides of the neck and inside​ of ⁢your arms) have⁢ more capillaries closer to the surface.”

As physician and health and wellness expert Dr. Nesochi Okeke-Igbokwe explains, the size of these vessels also contributes⁤ to why hickeys appear so ⁢prominently. “There are certain vessels that supply ‌blood to your skin,” she says.⁢ “A hickey is‍ essentially bruising that occurs‌ when some of the very small ​superficial vessels that are found‌ just beneath the skin become damaged and rupture as a result of sucking on the skin.”

As for how long they last, licensed psychologist⁣ Dr. Rachel Needle ⁢ says it depends on several factors. ​”How long a hickey lasts depends on a number of factors: Generally, a hickey can last anywhere between five days​ to four weeks depending ⁣on the size, depth, area of the body, and an individual’s age,” she explains. “Some medical ⁣conditions and medications ‌can contribute to slower healing.” An iron deficiency, for example, has been shown to affect​ healing time. “Also, if the individual takes a lot of blood thinners like aspirin or fish oil or non-steroidal anti-inflammatory medications, ‍they may get a⁤ worse response.⁤ Therefore, those ⁢should be stopped.”

Dr. Needle says the location also plays a ​significant role in how long your hickey will⁣ linger. “The more vascular the area, the longer it will last,” she explains. “In an area that is not vascular and very thick, such as⁤ with a lot of⁣ adipose‍ tissue, it probably ⁤wouldn’t be as bad or ‍remain as long as an area that was vascular⁢ and had very thin non-muscular, non-fat containing tissue, like the neck.”

Real Men’s Experiences: “During my senior year, my class ⁤had a camp out at the beach on Lake Michigan, and things got a little wild,” says Mark, 21. ⁣”This was​ also the day ⁢before my ‌high school senior pictures, and a huge hickey was⁣ there right on my neck the next ⁢morning. I had to figure it out ‍fast, so I ​used the hickey comb method, where you comb out the hickey to⁢ make it look like‌ something⁣ other than a⁢ hickey — mine probably ended up looking more like a cougar scratch (I was camping out, after all). Then I went looking in the bathroom‌ for something‍ else that would help, and I saw⁣ my mom’s concealer. It matched my skin color so I used that to cover it up even more. It worked like a charm.”


Effective Methods to Eliminate a Hickey


Depending on when you notice the hickey and how quickly ⁤you act, you have several treatment options⁤ to try and get rid of them naturally. Here are a few tried-and-true methods for erasing ⁤those embarrassing love bites — or ⁣at least reducing their appearance.

Apply Ice

“The first remedy for healing hickeys ⁤more quickly is to use a simple cooling method,” says Dr. Neinstein. “Use an ice pack or wrap several ice cubes in a towel and press⁤ it on the affected area for‍ 7-10 minutes‌ as soon‌ as possible. Alternatively, this can also be done by placing a metal spoon in the freezer until chilled and applying it to the affected area. This will eliminate any swelling associated with the affected area.”

“Applying ice will constrict the smaller blood ⁢vessels and hopefully help ‍with the capillaries at ⁤the surface,”‌ Dr. Needle adds. “Ice should ​be applied with some pressure and as soon after getting the hickey as you can.”

Try Peppermint Toothpaste

If you’re using⁢ the toothpaste method, it’s important to ensure that peppermint is listed as an ingredient for it to be effective. “By spreading a thin⁣ layer of peppermint-based ⁣toothpaste on the ​hickey, ⁣the peppermint acts as a calming effect⁣ on the skin and any inflammation,” explains Dr. Neinstein. “You may feel the​ area‌ tingle at first. Leave the toothpaste on until the tingling subsides. Wipe the area gently with a warm washcloth.”

Brush It Out

One of ⁤the oldest and most frequently ‍recommended methods‌ of getting rid of a hickey is ‌to ‍brush or comb it out. There’s some debate over whether this actually ​makes things worse, but the idea behind it is that if you’re able to break up those blood clots, it might make the⁣ affected area ⁣look less visible.‍ “Use a ⁣soft-bristled‍ toothbrush to gently stimulate ⁣the blood flow in‌ that area to promote healing,” Dr. Neinstein explains.

Real Men’s Experiences: “I learned how to remove hickeys long ⁣ago, when I was in the ⁢Army —⁢ where hickeys were a punishable offense,” says‌ Mitchell, 31. “If you haven’t done this you may think I’m crazy, but I promise it works (having had to do⁤ it myself on more than ‌one occasion). ⁤Wet the area of the hickey, and take a comb and‌ place it so that the edges of the teeth are on the hickey (so the comb is sticking straight out, perpendicular⁤ to the hickey). ⁣Rub the comb up and down over the hickey (keeping it wet, so you will need to keep applying water).‌ Eventually the area will get really red from the rubbing (it doesn’t feel great, but it’s tolerable). The area is going to⁤ get really red, and when you can no longer distinguish between ​the hickey and the rest⁢ of the red area,​ you can stop, and when the redness goes​ away (fairly shortly)‍ the hickey will have magically disappeared. I’m sure the reason this works is that it⁣ breaks up the blood (which is what the hickey is) ​so that it can be reabsorbed and cleared⁢ away ⁣by your body.”

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Guidelines for Complimenting Women in a Non-Awkward Way by Lisa

Not long ago, I praised an intern for her new​ hairstyle. A male⁢ colleague behind me remarked, “I wanted to say⁤ that too,‍ but I didn’t want to ⁢come off as creepy, especially in the era of #MeToo.” He was‌ worried ‍that his comment about her haircut might‍ be misconstrued ⁤as inappropriate. ⁣We joked about his over-cautiousness, but he insisted, “I​ didn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable by my gaze!”

Most men dread the idea ⁢of appearing creepy or behaving like their fathers. ​For the majority of decent men, the worst accusation is that they’re making⁣ someone uncomfortable. Given⁢ the current social climate and the⁢ inappropriate behaviour of many men, this fear is justified. Even well-intentioned actions can ​be ‍misinterpreted, making it challenging to ⁣discern what is and isn’t acceptable. Compliments in the workplace can easily ​cross ‍boundaries, so here are some ​guidelines to help you stay within the safe⁤ zone:

Make it about them, not‍ you

The first step to avoid unintentional creepiness is to remove‌ the word “I” from your compliments. Even harmless compliments can take‌ on a sexual connotation when‌ they start with ‌“I.”‌ Focusing the⁣ compliment on how you feel implies that you believe the⁣ woman you’re complimenting is‌ doing⁣ what she’s doing ‌- be⁢ it⁣ wearing a stylish⁤ top​ or applying a bit more makeup – for your benefit. “I” compliments can be⁤ disconcerting because they suggest that what‍ we’re doing aligns with your sexual preferences. “I love that shirt” can imply inappropriate thoughts about what’s underneath the shirt, while “that shirt is awesome” is much safer. Messaging someone, “I loved it when you ‍spoke ‌up⁢ in that meeting,⁤ so feisty!” is creepy.⁢ “You made a great point about the budget in there” is appropriate.

Avoid ⁤calling a⁤ woman⁤ “feisty”

This‍ should go without⁤ saying.

Refrain from commenting ​on women’s bodies

It should be clear that you should never compliment a⁤ specific body part. ​Few things are creepier than hearing⁤ “you have such ⁣great legs” at work. Compliments about‍ specific body parts are‍ reserved for people you’re in a romantic or sexual relationship with. Apart from significant hair changes (a simple ⁤“you got a haircut!” will do), you should never comment⁣ on‍ someone’s body. Even “you ⁤look great!” and “did you lose weight?” ⁣can ‍be problematic. “You look great” can‌ often be interpreted as “I find you sexually attractive.” As for weight: Never bring‍ it up. It’s none of your business. You don’t know ⁢why a woman lost weight. She might have ⁢emotional issues related to it, or she might ‍not want to be ​losing weight ⁣at all.⁢ You also⁢ don’t need to comment on how⁤ well​ someone’s clothes fit⁢ their body. ⁤It’s irrelevant whether a⁣ dress⁤ is flattering; we’re at work, not on a date. You can ⁣compliment a⁢ woman’s clothes without crossing into‍ “your jeans ⁤always fit you so well” territory.

Focus on professional achievements

We often overlook⁢ non-appearance-based compliments. A⁣ positive comment about a woman’s work can go⁢ a‍ long way ‍in making​ you seem less lecherous. The majority of your compliments should not be about appearance:⁣ Aim for a 90/10 ‍split, with only 10 percent of ⁤your compliments being about ​how someone⁤ looks⁣ or what they’re⁤ wearing. ​What’s left, ‍you might wonder? Well, you do work⁣ with this ⁤woman, ⁣right? “You killed ⁤it in that meeting” is a ⁤safe bet. If you feel awkward giving unsolicited work praise (you shouldn’t), try framing your compliments as thank-yous. “Thanks for catching my mistake in the third paragraph,⁣ your work always looks so polished.” ⁢Just be careful not to sound‍ surprised that she’s good at⁣ her job. Exclaiming, “Wow, what you said was so smart!” is not a good look.

Compliments are not obligatory

Unless you’re ‌in a situation where ​everyone is ​required to say something nice​ about the person next to them, giving a compliment is never compulsory. It seems that many men​ have confused being ⁣respectful to women with complimenting them, and I‌ worry ‌it ‍has ‌become a compulsive habit. So, I’m telling you now: ‍You don’t ​have to voice every compliment that comes to mind. Especially if you’re worried about crossing a line, it’s better to hold your tongue. No one needs ‌ to hear your opinion on everything, unless⁤ someone is about to cut a wire to defuse ‍a bomb and you ​are the only one who knows which wire is the right one. ‍Most​ opinions (and your compliments ⁤are, fundamentally, ‍your opinion) can remain unspoken. Ultimately,⁤ understand that‌ many women you work with might not care what you think about their new shoes. Contrary to popular belief, no woman I know is upset about not receiving ​more compliments.

Further reading:

Tinder tips⁣ for ‍the‍ best openers and winning bios

How to⁢ disclose to your partner (and others) that you have an STI

How to cope⁤ with a break-up

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How Dating Apps Can Increase Feelings of Loneliness by Lisa

The Paradox of Loneliness ⁣in the Age of Dating Apps

It’s not⁣ just you: The paradox of feeling isolated while navigating through a sea ‍of potential matches on⁣ dating apps is a ‌common experience.

“The ease of meeting numerous people on ⁤dating apps is counterbalanced⁣ by ‍a sense of disconnection and loneliness. ‌The quest for the ‘perfect match’ can ironically make us feel invisible⁣ and unfulfilled,” ‌observes Dr. Brooke Keels, chief clinical officer at ⁢ Lighthouse Recovery.

A Singles Reports study reveals that nearly 80% of people aged 18-54 experience some​ degree of emotional exhaustion or burnout ‍from online⁣ dating, with men ⁤being more susceptible to these feelings.

RELATED: Strategies for Making Online Dating Work for You

While it⁢ may be comforting to know that⁢ others share your struggles, it doesn’t solve the core problem: How can dating apps⁢ create such a disconnect while offering numerous opportunities to‌ connect? Here’s what you need to understand – and what you can do if swiping leaves you feeling lonely.


Understanding Why Dating Apps Can Lead to Loneliness


The Superficial Nature of Online Dating

Online dating initially seems ⁢promising.

“Dating apps create an illusion of endless matches, potential compatibility, ​and the ⁣convenience of ‍connecting from home,” notes Dr. ⁣Tarra Bates-Duford.

However, frustration and confusion can quickly set in with‍ each swipe.

Firstly, ‍there’s an emphasis on physical appearance. While looks matter in⁣ real life too, the process of‌ mindlessly browsing through numerous faces within minutes can feel‍ superficial.⁢

The Challenge of Authenticity

It can be challenging to gauge someone’s authenticity – or convey yours – online. The context can get lost when you’re reading profile descriptions ‍and exchanging messages.

RELATED: Common Mistakes ⁤Men ​Make ‌When⁢ Sending ⁢Dating Messages

“Online dating profiles can be misleading, lacking cues like‌ facial expressions,‍ body​ language, and genuine comments — not app-generated catchphrases,” ‌says Dr. Bates-Duford. “Assessing authenticity and sincerity can be difficult.”

Some people even lie ‌on their profile. There’s pressure to present‍ yourself ⁤in a certain ‌way, which can further erode authenticity. And since authenticity is⁢ the foundation of meaningful connection, using apps can leave you feeling empty.

The Difficulty of Getting Matches

Moreover, if you’re a heterosexual man, ⁢getting⁣ matches can be a challenge.

“Men and ⁣women swipe differently,” says Kristian Boe, founder of Swipestats.io.‌ “While men swipe right on about 35% of profiles, women only swipe right on about⁣ 2.5% ⁢of profiles. So⁣ if you’re not in the top ⁢20%‍ of profiles as ⁤a man, you basically ⁢get no action, which leads to frustration.”

RELATED: Why Women Have Higher Standards in Dating

Men Are ⁢More Prone to Loneliness

As Bates-Duford ‌points out,⁢ loneliness is not the physical state of being alone, ‌but the emotional feeling of isolation.

“Loneliness involves a lack ⁤of deep​ and satisfying relationships, connection, and negative quality of existing⁢ relationships,” ‍she ⁢explains. “Dating ⁣apps can exacerbate feelings of loneliness, as ⁢it⁣ often takes⁢ a long time to build relationships with someone you meet ‍online.”⁤

Unfortunately, men are more likely to experience ⁤social isolation and a lack of quality ⁢relationships in the first place. Recent research shows that ⁢men’s social circles are shrinking, ‍and it’s ‌worse for younger men.​ According to an American Perspectives Survey, over one‌ in four men under the age of ‍30 reported having no close social connections. ​

So, if you turn to dating ⁢apps because⁣ you crave​ connection in general, you ‍may quickly ⁤end up feeling lonely.

RELATED:​ The Importance of Close Friendships for Men

Real Connection Takes Time ​

Even if you’re meeting plenty⁤ of people, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to connect with them ⁤on a deeper level.

“The real challenge in online dating isn’t just about finding someone,” says ⁢Keels. “It’s about finding real, meaningful connections ‍that go beyond just chatting online.”

RELATED: ‍ The Difference Between Attraction &⁤ Compatibility

“There’s⁢ this silent struggle with feeling lonely, especially with ⁣societal pressure to appear always connected and‍ in control,”⁢ she adds.‍ “But what we’re really after is someone who ​understands us, someone we can share true intimacy and understanding with.”


5‍ Strategies to Overcome Loneliness Caused by Dating Apps


Despite the downsides and frustrations, online dating can still lead to positive ⁤experiences.​ There​ are ways⁣ to enjoy using apps and replace feelings of⁣ loneliness with more hopeful emotions. Here are⁣ a few tips:

Separate Your Self-Worth From Outcomes

“I wish men knew how to separate their dating app results from their self-worth,” says Boe.

To do this, it’s crucial to adjust your mindset. If you’re seeking matches for validation, a lack of‍ matches will disappoint you. ⁤

RELATED: How to Get More ⁤Right‌ Swipes on Dating Apps ‌

However, being open to exploring mutual interest ‍without taking things personally will lead to ⁢a more satisfying online dating experience.

Take Breaks When Necessary

Sometimes, taking a step back ‌is necessary.

“Taking a⁣ break ⁣from ‍what‌ makes you feel⁤ lonely does help,” adds Boe. ‌

RELATED: How to Handle Online Dating Burnout

Forcing yourself to keep trying won’t combat dating app ​fatigue. It’s usually a sign to shift gears and tend to your emotional⁤ needs in other ways. ⁤

Interact with ​People in Real Life

It may sound radical, but try interacting with people ⁣in real life.

“Join social groups, try speed dating, strike up ⁢a ‍conversation with someone interesting, ⁤go out with friends, and visit places where⁢ people you may be interested in ‌will be,” suggests Bates-Duford.

RELATED: How to​ Approach Attractive‌ Women in Person

Even if‍ it doesn’t lead anywhere, it may well help you feel more⁣ connected than staring ⁢at your screen.

Engage in Self-Reflection

If ⁢you’re⁢ feeling lonely, it’s ‍a good time to check in with yourself. What do you value? What are ⁢you looking for in your romantic life? Are you satisfied with your other ⁣relationships? ⁤

“Doing‌ some self-reflection to figure ⁣out‌ what we really want​ and‍ need can help‍ us create more​ meaningful connections, both ‌on and offline,” says‌ Keels.

Embrace Vulnerability

Being vulnerable can be intimidating, ⁤but it can also lead to more ⁣meaningful interactions. So, try showing more of who ‍you are while dating. It won’t⁤ guarantee that everyone you meet on apps ⁣will be genuine, but⁢ it ​will increase your chances of ​experiencing genuine connection.

Lastly, if you⁣ feel⁤ chronically lonely, consider opening up to a trusted friend or professional. It’s ‍more common than you think, and ⁣discussing it is one of the best ways to combat isolation.

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Her Thoughts When You Send Her an Explicit Image by Lisa

Considering Sending Her Unsolicited Explicit Photos? ‌Here’s Why You Shouldn’t

Every woman has her preferences when it comes to men’s physical attributes. It could be​ dimples, ⁢lips,‌ shoulders, or arms. However, one thing that most women don’t appreciate is an unsolicited⁤ explicit photo, especially if​ there’s no personal relationship involved. So, ⁣gentlemen, stop sending explicit‌ photos that weren’t requested.

RELATED: Top⁣ Sexting Apps

Truth be told, we don’t want to ‍see them. ⁢If we’re interested, our imagination is more than enough. It’s unclear when sending⁤ explicit photos became a norm, ⁣but whoever told you it ​was acceptable,‌ misled you. The ​message you think you’re sending with these photos is ‍often misinterpreted.

Let’s delve ​into what goes on in her mind when she receives an unsolicited ⁣explicit photo.


10 Thoughts That Cross Her ‌Mind When She Receives An Unsolicited⁣ Explicit Photo


1. “That’s Unpleasant”

If you’re not going to put in the effort to ensure the photo is appealing — proper grooming, good lighting, right angles, and clear composition — then don’t bother. Even if you’re proud ⁤of your size or prowess, it doesn’t translate well in a photo. The best way to impress a‌ woman is by pleasing her, not by sending ⁢explicit photos.

2. She Feels Violated

After the initial shock, she⁢ feels violated. Not necessarily in a sexual harassment way, but more in a ‘loss of innocence’ way. She can’t unsee what she just saw, and it disrupts her ‌day.‍ It’s imprinted‍ in her⁣ memory, and not in a good way.

3. You Clearly Don’t Respect Her

Simply ‌put, sending an explicit photo doesn’t convey ‌respect or care. It’s insulting to ‍try and pass it off as a compliment ⁢or a joke.‌ It‌ sends a message that you see her as an object, which is not a good look.

4. She Can’t Respect You

How can she ‌respect you when you clearly don’t respect her or women in general? It’s a major turn-off.

5. You Don’t Have Much‍ to Offer

Just like those Instagram girls who post topless photos​ to promote lip gloss, sending ⁤explicit photos ⁢says a ⁢lot about you. It suggests that you lack social skills and understanding of women. No matter how⁣ impressive you think ⁣your photo ⁢is, it can’t compensate for these shortcomings.

6. You’re Not to Be Taken Seriously

If you don’t take yourself ⁤seriously, how⁣ can she? Sending an explicit photo either suggests that ⁣you think it’s funny or sexy, both of which are misguided. It also ​implies that you see her as cheap, which is not a ⁢good‍ start.

7. Where Did Things Go Wrong?

She might wonder how⁢ you misinterpreted ⁤her ‌actions to mean she wanted an explicit photo. It’s a mystery how men often mistake basic kindness for sexual interest. When she receives such a photo, she might question whether she ⁢unintentionally sent the ‍wrong message.

8. Did She‍ Ask for This?

She ⁢might review all her interactions ⁣with you to see if she ever asked for such a photo. In most cases, she’ll quickly ⁢realize that she didn’t, ⁢and it’s just you acting inappropriately.

9. Sharing Is Caring

If you’re sending her an⁤ explicit photo, you must want it to be seen, right? So, she might share⁤ it with her friends, along with some backstory and jokes about you. Remember, when⁤ you send an unsolicited explicit photo, you’re signing up for this.

10. What Was the Goal?

She might wonder what you were⁣ trying to achieve with the photo. Were you trying ⁣to attract her? Turn her on? Get her to send one back? Because that’s not how it works. Women prefer anticipation and mystery. An explicit photo only elicits disgust and a loud‍ “Ewwww!”

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Top Dating Apps for Individuals with Disabilities by Lisa

Searching for Love ⁢as a Disabled Individual? Here Are the Top ⁤Platforms to Begin Your Journey

Our editorial team at AskMen conducts comprehensive research and reviews to bring ⁣you the best gear, services,⁤ and life essentials. We may earn a commission if you purchase a product or service through⁣ a link in this article.

For many, dating can be a daunting and anxiety-inducing experience.⁢ When you add a disability into the equation, it can sometimes feel disheartening. However, there⁢ are several platforms that are designed to assist disabled individuals in‍ finding love⁣ by connecting them with understanding and compassionate singles.

Deciding whether to disclose ‌your disability in your profile can be a tough decision. However, it’s important to remember that your ‍disability ‌does not define you and should not negatively impact your love life. The process ⁣of meeting new people, engaging in playful banter, and assessing potential chemistry should be enjoyable.

RELATED: Tips for Handling First-Date Jitters

Whether you’re an amputee,‌ physically disabled due to an accident, ​or‍ living with a lifelong mental⁤ health condition, it’s⁢ natural to desire‍ a partner who can empathize​ with your experiences. Remember this: everyone is⁣ deserving of love, regardless of their disability. The key is to know where to look.

If you’re seeking a meaningful connection with someone who can understand and appreciate ​your life​ experiences, we’ve compiled a list of 8 platforms designed for disabled individuals that are⁤ a great ⁤starting point.


7 Dating Platforms to Assist Disabled Individuals in Finding Their Ideal Match


Glimmer

Glimmer, a dating site with⁣ the ‌tagline “be proud of who you are,” aims to foster ⁣a transparent and inclusive community for singles. While disclosing your disability is‌ optional and can be adjusted at any time, Glimmer provides the option to include it in your ⁣profile.

Glimmer was founded by Geoffrey Anderson, who​ was inspired by his brother’s⁢ struggles with mainstream dating apps due to ‌his ⁣cognitive disabilities. Anderson wanted ⁣to create a platform where individuals didn’t feel the need to hide their disabilities. While not everyone on Glimmer ⁣has a disability, the community is accepting and open-minded.

Once you join Glimmer, ​you can search for members based on your preferences or shared interests. ⁢You can also filter members by their specific disability.

Explore Glimmer

Disability Matching

Disability Matching is a viable option for​ those seeking friendships or romantic connections. While the app is free to download, the number of messages you can send per day is limited. However, upgrading to a premium membership allows ‌for unlimited messages and advanced search filters.

Users have praised the app for its simplicity and straightforwardness, from the sign-up process to messaging other users.

Explore Disability Matching

Dating4Disabled

Dating4Disabled is a platform designed​ to help individuals with any​ kind of disability connect with like-minded people for relationships and friendships. The site takes safety seriously, using an ​advanced filtering system to block fraudulent membership requests and monitor public correspondence.

While the site is one of the more expensive options on ⁣this list, the testimonials page is filled with heartwarming stories of successful matches.

Explore Dating4Disabled

Ellie

Ellie, ⁢a platform with a Tinder-like interface, is designed to be ⁢a safe space where everyone can feel accepted and be themselves.⁢ The app is only available for iPhone⁢ users and is geared towards those seeking serious relationships.

Creating an account is quick and easy, and the app ⁤includes features such as seeing​ when your‍ match is online, when they are typing, and ⁢whether messages have been read.

Explore Ellie

Dating Handicapped

Dating Handicapped caters to two types of members: those with disabilities and those without disabilities who are open to meeting someone with one. Once you’ve completed your profile and uploaded a picture, you can browse other members⁣ based on your location or other criteria.

Upgrading to a ​premium account allows you to send or receive messages, add people to your ​favorites list, and​ use the chat ⁤room. However, free users ‌can create a profile,⁣ search for singles, ‌and send and ⁤receive “flirts” ⁢as part​ of a trial run.

Explore⁢ Dating Handicapped

Whispers4U

Whispers4U, part of ⁣the Dating Factory network, boasts thousands of members across the U.S., U.K., Canada, Australia, and Europe.⁣ The site offers live audio and video webcam chatting, as well as instant ⁣messenger features, and regularly checks for scammers and removes⁣ fraudulent‍ profiles.

Upgrading to a premium membership comes with several perks, including sending and replying to an unlimited number of emails, viewing other members’ ⁤galleries, and unrestricted chat use. The site’s matching software promotes members based‌ on the quality of their profile, so it’s​ worth taking the time to complete your bio and add multiple photos.

Explore Whispers4U


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Methods for Attracting Women by Lisa

Desire to Attract Women? Here’s What You Should Be Doing

Throughout the animal kingdom, males have evolved unique methods to attract their mates.

Peacocks flaunt ⁢their‌ vibrant tails, jumping spiders engage ‍in intricate ‌dances, Eurasian jay birds offer food to their partners, and lemurs use their scent glands to signal their good health. Similarly, human males employ various strategies like using specific colognes, perfecting pickup lines, and spending‌ countless hours‍ at the gym. But what if there was a way to eliminate the guesswork and truly understand what attracts women?

RELATED: Top 5 Types ⁣of Men That Women Find Attractive

It’s important to remember that every woman is unique and there’s no universal formula to win their hearts. Some women are attracted to beards, while others prefer⁢ a clean-shaven look. Some are drawn to outgoing personalities, while others are attracted to quiet ‍confidence. However, experts suggest certain universally appealing tactics.

“Being authentic is the most important thing,” advises Kate Anthony,‌ a relationship expert, divorce coach, ​author, and podcast​ host. “Women are attracted to authenticity and are put off by men who pretend‍ to be something they’re⁢ not. Dishonesty and pretense eventually reveal themselves and are not worth it. If you’re not⁣ wealthy, that’s fine. We prefer to know the real you rather than discovering later that it was ⁣all a lie.”

Keeping this in mind, here are some foolproof strategies to attract women.

1. Be an ‌Active Listener

“Women appreciate a man who listens attentively,” says Ksenia Droben, a dating coach, matchmaker, ⁢and CEO at Droben Matchmaking. “Recognition is a basic human need, and active‍ listening is the easiest way to provide it.”

A 2015 speed dating experiment supports ​this, finding‌ that women are more attracted to men who are ⁣present and attentive. You can demonstrate active listening by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and asking follow-up questions.

RELATED: The Sexy Appeal of Being a Good⁤ Listener on Dates

2.⁢ Excel at a ‍Skill

Whether it’s cooking, playing the guitar, surfing, or anything ⁤else, women are attracted to men who excel at something. The specific skill doesn’t matter as much as your passion and dedication‍ to ‌it.

“Mastery is the most attractive trait — excelling in something you’re passionate about,” says Magda Kay, an intimacy expert and relationships coach. “Mastery signifies determination and commitment, qualities that women admire.”

3. Enhance Your Emotional Intelligence

A 2021 study of 7,000 daters found‌ that ⁢women prioritize⁢ intelligence and emotional connection when ​looking for a potential mate.

“Women seek emotional safety,” says Anthony. “We ‌don’t want to be your therapist, your mother, or your punching bag — we ‍want to be your partner.”

RELATED: Ways to ⁤Boost Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions and those of others. A sign of high emotional intelligence, or “EQ”, is the ability to remain calm and help others do ​the same in stressful situations. ‍

To cultivate EQ, start by being aware⁣ of your own emotions. Identify and name them‌ as they ⁤arise, and observe how your emotions influence your behavior. ⁢ Research shows that mindfulness practices‌ like‌ meditation ⁢and breathwork can help improve emotional intelligence.

4. Show Purpose ​and Passion

Most women are attracted to successful men – but success isn’t necessarily measured in​ monetary terms, says Droben.

“A man’s success is often expressed in his passion for a⁢ cause, especially if he has a larger mission,” she tells AskMen.

RELATED: Non-Sexual Things That Women Find⁢ Wildly Erotic

What aspects of your job are you most ​passionate ⁢about? What motivates you to get up in the morning? What kind of impact do you want to⁣ make on the ⁢world? ⁣These are the questions you should be asking yourself.

Identifying your purpose ​can translate‌ into drive, focus, and confidence — traits that are highly ⁣attractive​ to women.

5. Set Goals

Another way to attract women, ‌says Kay, is ‌to show that you’re ⁣goal-oriented. Whether you’re working towards building strength ‌at the gym, growing⁤ a side business, or saving up to build your dream house, having a goal is attractive.

RELATED: How Journaling Can Help You Set‍ Goals and Achieve Results

“Women value‍ this because it fosters trust and reliability, especially when envisioning a future together,”⁢ explains Kay.

6. Practice Kindness

The notion that nice guys finish last is a⁣ myth.

In 2019, the ⁤app Clue​ surveyed 64,000 women about what they look for in a man. ⁤The ⁢results showed that 88.9% of⁤ women consider kindness ⁣to ‍be a crucial trait when choosing a partner. In fact, women prioritize kindness over intelligence, confidence, and physical attractiveness.

“Women observe ⁣how a man treats others,” says Kay. “They want assurance that a man is capable of empathy⁣ and compassion.”

A 2013 study found that women tend to be attracted to ‍altruistic men who do good ‌deeds. So, why not find a volunteering opportunity that aligns with your passions?

7. Cultivate Self-Awareness

Confidence is built on self-knowledge, so it’s important to⁢ understand who you are and what you need to work on to be the best partner you‌ can‌ be, says Anthony.

Every man has some baggage — whether it’s related ⁣to their upbringing or past romantic relationships. ⁤What’s important is how ⁣you deal with that baggage. ⁣A woman can’t fix ⁣your trust issues, fear⁣ of commitment, or attachment ‍disorder — but she can⁣ support you as⁣ you work through them with therapy or other healing modalities. The bottom line? A woman wants to see that you’re taking steps to understand‌ and improve yourself.

“We want to know that you’ve been⁣ to or are in therapy and⁣ have outside resources for processing your emotions,” adds Anthony. “How you’ve managed to process and work on your trauma is what sets men apart. When ​you don’t work on this ⁢stuff, it toxifies your system and leaks out the edges. Women just want men who are mentally and emotionally healthy first. The rest will follow.”

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