Four Views on the Transformation of Kink through the Internet by Lisa
As a child, I was always intrigued by the idea of bondage, although I didn’t fully understand what it meant or that it was part of a broader category known as “kink“. My first introduction to this world came during my college years, when I met my first dominant partner on the gay dating app, Scruff. His profile was clear: he was interested in tattoos, kink, and slim men. As a slim man with tattoos, I fit his description.
During our initial encounter, he asked me if I was familiar with kink. My response must have been unsatisfactory, as he immediately directed me to do some online research. Despite living in a small town in Georgia, he was a well-known adult film actor for Kink.com in San Francisco. He introduced me to my first Folsom Street Fair, the world’s largest leather event, and gifted me my first harness. Since then, I’ve been deeply involved in the world of kink, particularly fisting and flogging. I’m forever grateful for his guidance, which gave me the language and confidence to explore this world on my own.
I consider myself a product of the internet age in the realm of kink. I never had to seek approval from a bouncer to enter a BDSM club, nor did I have to dial a number from the back of a leather magazine, as was common in the past. The internet has been my gateway, providing me with an abundance of information and access that has transformed the kink culture. It has brought us together in unprecedented ways, while also introducing new issues and challenges. As we increasingly rely on digital spaces, the threat of misguided censorship looms large.
We spoke with four queer individuals about their experiences with digital kink and how the internet has reshaped the scene, both positively and negatively.
‘The internet, despite its many benefits, can also be a breeding ground for bullies’
Andrew Gurza, disability awareness consultant, Toronto (he/him)
I’m a leather enthusiast and I’m also into pup play. Additionally, I’m disabled.
The internet has enabled me to merge my disabled life with my kink life in exciting ways, but it has also highlighted the ableism within our community. I can express my kinky self online, in my wheelchair, wearing leathers or a pup mask, to an audience I wouldn’t have reached otherwise. However, the anonymity of the internet also means that people can make ableist remarks or cruel comments without facing any repercussions. Despite its many benefits, the internet can also be a breeding ground for bullies.
Nevertheless, the internet remains crucial. I often can’t attend in-person kink events due to accessibility issues, a problem that is seldom discussed. There are many disabled kinksters online who face similar challenges. The internet provides them with a platform to participate and connect with the community.
Lloyd Alexander-Winston MacDonald III, fisting top in San Diego (he/him)
At 19, I began visiting bathhouses and sex clubs in LA. During one of these visits, I stumbled upon a fisting video titled “Acres of Ass” in a leather store. It was incredibly arousing. A few years later, I met a man who commented on the size of my hands and taught me how to fist him. That was my first experience with fisting. Nowadays, people discover fisting through online porn, not in video or leather stores. The internet provides unlimited access to fisting videos for anyone with an internet connection.