LGBTQ+ Lifestyle

Why Are Throuples Increasingly Popular Among Gay Men? Str8Curious Explores by Lisa

Understanding Why Throuples ⁤are More Common Among Gay Men: 4 Key Reasons

Str8Curious is a regular AskMen column where lifestyle expert Joey Skladany, who is openly gay, addresses various queries from straight men‌ about ⁣sex, dating, and ⁣the LGBTQ+ community. He offers advice, dispels myths, and provides insights — from a gay perspective. ​If you​ have a question you’d like to submit for editorial consideration⁤ (your anonymity will be ​respected), feel free​ to contact Joey directly on Instagram or email him at [email protected]).

The⁢ Inquiry

I’m intrigued by the concept of throuples in⁤ the gay community.⁤ It appears​ to be quite prevalent, and I’m interested in understanding how⁢ this dynamic​ functions. Is it⁣ similar to what we see on Sister Wives? – Ted, Honolulu, HI

The Response

Well, Ted, it’s not as straightforward as you might think. While I personally wouldn’t engage in⁢ a multi-partner⁤ relationship due to my ⁣possessive and needy nature (self-awareness is key, right?), this arrangement works well for many gay men.

RELATED: What Does ⁣Being in a Throuple Feel Like? A Real-Life Triad Shares⁢ Their Experience

There are several reasons ⁣why individuals ⁤(not just gay men, but also straight,‍ bisexual, and pansexual people)​ might choose to be in a‌ throuple. Here are the most common ones:

1. It Can‌ Add Excitement to ⁤an Existing ‍Relationship

Introducing⁤ a third ​person into a long-standing⁤ relationship can provide a sense of sexual adventure without fully embracing polyamory, another common relationship style in the‌ gay community.

This arrangement allows ⁣a couple to explore⁢ new ‍emotional and physical connections while maintaining⁤ a‌ degree of exclusivity. It creates a safe and comfortable environment⁣ that is more exciting than traditional monogamy.

And ⁤no, it’s not usually like an episode of Sister Wives. Since all participants are attracted to men, there isn’t​ necessarily a central figure that the other two ⁤focus ⁣on. Time and attention are generally equally distributed among all three participants. They might just need to⁣ invest⁣ in a larger bed to accommodate the extra ⁢cuddling and intimacy.

2. Variety is Appealing to Some People

Society often promotes the idea of finding our ​one true love⁢ (or soulmate) and⁣ spending our entire lives with⁢ this person. ⁢However, this ⁢isn’t a realistic scenario ​for everyone.

The​ reality is that it ‌can be just as easy to fall in love with​ two people as it is with ‍one (which is why shows like The Bachelor are ‌so popular). ⁤Many gay men in throuples reject the ‌notion that they can ⁢only ​give their heart to one person.

Different partners offer different⁤ types ⁢of support and attraction, both physically‌ and emotionally. So why can’t⁤ you commit to two people at once? You certainly​ can, even⁢ if a three-person marriage isn’t legally recognized.

RELATED: Understanding⁤ Non-Monogamy: How Does ⁢It Work?

3. It’s ⁢More Economical

Sharing a mortgage among⁣ three people ​is more affordable than splitting it between two. While this shouldn’t be the ​only reason to enter a throuple, sharing expenses with‍ two other partners you love⁤ can enhance your quality of life.

RELATED: What Straight Men Can Learn From Gay Men About ​Non-Monogamy

Many ⁣gay throuples enjoy lavish ⁤vacations ⁢and⁤ invest in⁣ high-end items because the costs are shared. Whether it’s something‍ as simple as a T-shirt ‍or as luxurious as a ⁤BMW, it’s easier to afford anything when two others ⁣are sharing‍ the cost or contributing their own assets.

4. Queer ​People Have⁣ Always Done Things Their Own Way

After ​a lifetime ⁢of challenging ⁢societal⁤ expectations, we’ve decided to live life ‌on⁢ our own⁢ terms.

Some might see it as‌ an act of rebellion, but the truth is⁤ that after‌ spending so much time trying‌ to conform⁤ to societal norms,⁤ we’ve chosen to defy the traditional timeline and cultural norms imposed on us (like getting married in our 20s, having kids in our 30s, ​and experiencing a midlife crisis in our 40s).

To reclaim our time, independence, and freedom of choice, we’ve allowed ourselves the flexibility to satisfy our sexual, ‌emotional, and romantic needs in a way that suits us,⁤ not according to a prescribed plan. For many gay men, this means a long history of loving multiple partners ‍without shame.

RELATED: Why is Non-Monogamy Gaining Popularity?

Of course, a throuple isn’t⁣ for everyone. For it to work, there needs to be a fair and equal distribution of affection and⁣ attention,​ especially if a third person is joining an already established‍ couple.

But the increasing popularity of throuples isn’t ‌just a trend. They exist because‍ they allow ⁣many people to enjoy the⁤ benefits of ⁤a relationship without being tied to just one person.

While I, being ​a jealous person, am not inclined to share,‌ I ⁢can understand and appreciate why this dynamic might be ideal​ for those who ⁢challenge societal ‌norms and‍ don’t​ care about ‍others’ opinions of ⁣their relationship choices.

(And who am I to⁢ judge when I can’t even‍ find one guy to love me? Hats ‍off to those ⁤who can find two. ​Cue the crying emoji.)

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Top Dating Apps for Transgender Individuals by Lisa

Top Online Dating Platforms for ⁣Transgender Individuals

Our editorial team⁤ at AskMen conducts comprehensive research and reviews to bring you the best gear, services, and life essentials. We may earn a⁤ commission if you ⁣click a link in this‍ article and purchase a product‌ or service.

For transgender‍ individuals, dating can be a challenging experience. Misunderstandings about gender⁢ identity are common on mainstream dating apps. The trans community often finds itself educating others about gender basics, in addition to facing bigotry.

Fortunately, some​ dating apps have a better track record with the transgender ​community. These apps do not fetishize trans individuals but instead, facilitate genuine connections.

RELATED: How to Support Your Trans Masculine Partner

The apps listed below are chosen for their respectful approach towards trans individuals, promoting real connections rather than‍ objectifying transness.


Taimi began as⁣ a gay dating app and has since expanded to include all members of the ⁤LGBTQ+ community. The platform has a dedicated section‌ for those who have questions about LGBTQ+ terminology, making it a ​safer space ⁢for the community.

With over 8 million users, Taimi has ⁤evolved​ from a ‍dating app to a comprehensive social platform. Users can post updates, create ‍stories, join groups, ⁢and ‌live-stream. ⁢Premium Taimi XL​ subscribers have access to exclusive features like unlimited likes. However, non-subscribers can also access some ‌of these features‍ by spinning the‍ daily fortune wheel.

Users can ​choose from a variety of gender options, including male, female, trans male, trans female, intersex, and non-binary. There’s⁤ also an ⁣option to⁣ not display gender at all. Users can highlight ‌key‌ traits and interests in the “I am” section and add ⁤a private photo‍ gallery that others must​ request‍ access to view.

Explore Taimi


#Open is a dating platform⁣ designed ‍for ‍non-monogamous individuals.⁣ It allows‌ users ⁣to search ‍for potential ​partners either solo or with a partner.

The platform offers a wide range⁣ of ⁣gender identities and sexual orientations to choose from. Couples can also link their profiles and search for thirds together. The user base of #Open is ‌ about half male, providing numerous options for queer trans‍ guys.

Created by ⁢a⁢ team that includes prominent sex educators,⁢ #Open frequently hosts sex-positive⁢ online​ events. Users can learn about topics like self-care, rope⁢ play, impact ⁣play, and more.

Like other apps, #Open allows for regular swiping and‌ viewing‌ of potential matches in a ⁢grid. However, due⁤ to‌ its current popularity, users may‌ need to expand their local search zone to find matches.

Explore⁤ #Open


OkCupid is a well-known dating app that offers a user-friendly interface and easy navigation. ‌It’s a swipe-based app with premium features like seeing‌ who has liked you and profile ‍boosts.

OkCupid has evolved to​ become more inclusive⁣ of trans ‍individuals, offering nearly two dozen options for sexual ‌orientation and gender identity. However, users still have to ⁣choose whether they want to be included in searches for men or women. OkCupid is ‌working on improving this feature.

One downside is ‌that OkCupid can‍ sometimes be glitchy, causing delays in notifications to prospective partners ‍and unintentional ⁣ghosting.

Explore OkCupid


Feeld, originally a threesome-focused⁤ app​ called 3nder, has evolved ‍into a‍ platform for non-monogamous dating. The app is highly trans-friendly, offering numerous gender options for⁤ self-description and search preferences.

Despite a minor PR disaster⁢ following a software update in 2023, Feeld remains a popular choice for its user base, ⁢most of​ whom identify as some form of ⁢queer or questioning.

Explore Feeld


Lex is⁤ a text-based app catering⁤ to the LGBTQ+‌ community and beyond. Inspired by lesbian personal ads from the 80s and 90s, Lex allows users to ⁣receive messages without any ⁤swiping or paywalls.

Users ⁢can post a personal⁣ ad with an eye-catching headline​ and wait for others to reach out. ​They can ​also reply to‍ other people’s ads.‌ However, Lex does not allow the sharing of pictures, which can be seen as both a strength and a weakness.

Explore Lex


Fiorry is a new⁤ entrant in ⁤the dating market. While it’s available for everyone, it’s particularly set up for trans-inclusive dating. Users can send “WOWs,” similar to⁢ “likes” on‌ other apps, to other users.

Fiorry also ‍sponsors transition goals for members of the trans community,⁣ offering $5000 to a small number ⁤of users to⁣ assist with their⁢ gender transition.

Explore Fiorry


Tinder is ⁣one of the⁤ original ⁤swipe-based dating apps. It offers features like Tinder Plus, a paid option that allows you to send more “super‍ likes” and get a free profile boost every month.​ In 2020, Tinder introduced a video chat feature to support daters​ during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Despite its ⁤claims⁢ of supporting trans individuals, Tinder has a history of banning trans users and does not allow users to change ⁢their display names. The platform is reportedly working‍ with LGBTQ+ organizations ⁤to improve its features.

Explore Tinder


Scruff was one of the first apps to add options for transgender people in 2013. Users can‍ choose⁤ from a ‌wide range of gender⁢ identities for themselves and⁢ their potential partners.

Scruff offers various sections for users to explore, including Match for‌ communication and Venture⁤ for travel tips and conversation.‌ The​ platform also highlights LGBTQ+ events ‍in your area and offers a ⁤premium setup with over 30 features.

Explore Scruff

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