Online Dating Experiences

He Asked About My Shoes During Our Successful Tinder Chat by Lisa

Chloe headshot
Chloe isn’t too fond⁣ of dating ⁤apps (Image:‌ Chloe Lovatt)

After going through ⁢my⁣ emails, I⁢ decided to check my Tinder account to see the ⁢ongoing chats with potential ‍dates.

There was one response I⁣ was particularly ‌looking forward to.

However, I encountered ‌a problem‌ while trying to log in.

Every time I refreshed the page, an ‍error⁣ message appeared. When I tried to re-enter ​my email and phone number, I received another message stating that my account had been blocked.

I was confused. I⁣ hadn’t sent any inappropriate messages‌ or harassed anyone, at least not to my knowledge.

Then I recalled ⁤the last conversation I had, and it started to make sense.

I wasn’t a big ​fan of dating apps, but after a⁤ recent break-up ‍and the fluctuating lockdown stages in the Netherlands where I was residing, meeting people in person was ⁣challenging.

So, I decided to join a few dating apps to put myself out there, even though I wasn’t⁣ necessarily ready to find my soulmate.

Chloe ⁣standing in front ‌of ⁤a sign on a wall that reads 'hippie island' (Image: Chloe Lovatt)
Chloe’s ‌Tinder journey took an unexpected turn (Image:⁤ Chloe Lovatt)

Tinder, especially, was known among my friends as an app mainly for casual encounters. But since I​ was just getting ⁢back into dating, I was content‌ to ⁤chat with new people and see where things led.

After a couple of months on the app, I received a ⁤message from ‌Dean*. We exchanged greetings, ​and⁣ although ⁤there were no immediate⁣ sparks, I thought it was just the beginning of our ‍conversation.

However,⁤ after a few days, things took a strange turn. Dean asked ‍if⁣ he could ask me a ⁢very peculiar question. I responded, expecting him to ask something about British culture or politics.

Instead, he asked, “Those heels you’re ​wearing in your⁤ last picture… would you like to stand on me with them?”

Dean ⁣was right; this was indeed a strange question. As ⁣a woman on the internet, I’ve received my ⁤fair share of sexual propositions, but this⁣ was a first.

The picture he referred to was from​ my graduation day, where my nude stilettos were visible beneath⁣ my black gown.

The picture that ⁢sparked the conversation (Image: Chloe Lovatt)

I jokingly‌ replied, ⁣”I think that would kill you,” expecting this to be the ⁢end of​ a humorous story I’d⁢ share with friends about ⁢the challenges of online dating.

However, he ​quickly responded, assuring me it wouldn’t and seemed⁤ eager to continue the conversation ​since I hadn’t immediately dismissed his request.

He⁣ then boldly asked, “What if I paid you?”

I was taken aback that the ​conversation had ‍reached​ this point. What could I possibly⁣ say to that?

So, I decided to keep things light. “How much are we talking?”

Just​ to clarify, I ​had no intention of accepting his offer – I was merely curious to know how much this man⁤ I’d been chatting​ with for a few days ⁤was willing to pay a stranger for such‍ an unusual request.

However, I never got ⁣the answer⁣ because‍ after this message, ‌I was unable to log back into my account.

“What if ⁣I paid you?”‍ (Image: Chloe ‌Lovatt)

Now, I can’t say with certainty that this was the reason I was banned. When I contacted Tinder customer services for an explanation, they simply stated that I had ‌’violated the ⁤terms of ‌use and community guidelines’ but didn’t⁢ provide ⁢any ⁣further details.

However, considering that was the last message I sent, ⁣I can’t think ‌of any other reason for​ the ban.

Was I banned for soliciting sex work? But how could that be when​ I wasn’t the one‌ who suggested payment?

I found it ironic that I ⁤was⁢ banned for something I didn’t initiate‌ but merely responded to.

I later encountered Dean on another dating app and asked⁤ him if ​he’d​ reported my messages. He denied doing so and expressed ⁣disappointment ⁣when our conversation disappeared. His account remained active throughout.

Chloe⁣ in front of a waterfall, with lots of trees/plants/tree roots around her
Chloe ‍had⁣ ‘violated the terms of use and community guidelines’ (Image: Chloe Lovatt)

He‍ tried⁢ to persuade me to meet him, without⁤ mentioning his​ previous offer, but ⁣I declined as I believed we were seeking different ‍things.

And ⁢that marked the end of ⁣my⁢ brief interaction with Dean.

While the story does amuse ‍my friends, the entire experience left me ‌feeling frustrated. Women‍ often receive countless sexual messages ⁢on dating apps​ from⁢ men, and when ‌I showed interest in ⁣just one of these propositions, I was banned.

It seems like⁢ a double standard that men can send explicit messages, but when a⁤ woman appears to be trying to profit from it, she is the one who is penalized.

I’m still on other dating​ apps, ⁢swiping and meeting people, none of whom have asked me to perform any ‌sexual acts for money.

But ‌it’s safe to say that my Tinder ‍days are over – as is my potential career‍ as a ‘dominatrix’.

*Name has been changed

If ⁢you​ have a story you’d ⁣like to share, please get in touch by emailing ‍[email protected].

Feel free ​to ‌share your thoughts in the comments below.

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