Experts’ Advice on How to Successfully Meet People in Real Life for Dating by Lisa
There are times when I ponder about the dating scene in the pre-digital era. People had to physically meet someone, perhaps at a club or on the street, and then exchange phone numbers on a piece of paper, assuming someone had a pen handy. Then, they would wait for a call on their landline phone. Without the convenience of dating apps or the ability to slide into someone’s DMs, dating was a completely in-person experience, with a few phone calls or emails in between. It’s quite a lot to contemplate.
However, it’s worth noting that many people have grown weary of dating apps in recent years, opting for a more traditional approach. This is understandable considering the endless swiping, the difficulty in gauging a person’s personality from a few photos and some scripted words on a screen, and the fact that chemistry is a physical phenomenon. It seems that dating apps were never going to be the ultimate solution we once thought they would be. Hence, the resurgence of meeting people in person and dating them.
That being said, not everyone finds it easy to meet people or flirt offline. This is particularly true for those under 25 who can’t recall a time before Instagram reactions. With this in mind, here’s a useful guide to meeting people in real life without the use of dating apps or DM slides.
Choose the Right Locations
If you’re looking to meet new people, it’s not enough to frequent the same three places (your home, the local Aldi supermarket, and your friend’s house). You need to explore new locations, particularly those that encourage conversation. You’re unlikely to meet someone at the cinema or a dental clinic, although stranger things have happened.
Dating educator and author Lalala Letmeexplain recommends attending actual singles events. She also suggests joining local groups based on your interests. However, she advises joining these groups for the enjoyment of the hobby itself, with meeting someone as a bonus.
Otherwise, just stay open to possibilities. As Lalala Letmeexplain puts it, “It’s possible to have meet cutes all over the place if you’re open to it.” If you’re open to random encounters, make eye contact with people you find attractive, be friendly and approachable, and initiate non-creepy conversations when appropriate.
Embrace Flirting
Flirting comes naturally to some people, while others find it challenging. However, flirting can be enjoyable, so don’t hesitate to show your interest through your body language. Just ensure it happens naturally and you’re not trying too hard. As Lalala Letmeexplain advises, “Just try to make eye contact and smile. Most things you say will sound a bit flirtatious if you say them with a smile.”
Leverage Your Friends (Positively)
Before the advent of dating apps and social media, many people met “through friends.” Your parents and your Gen X neighbors probably met this way. This doesn’t mean you should try to date within your friend group, but it does mean that you shouldn’t ignore social invitations. You never know, there might be attractive people at these gatherings, which might be the only good reason to ever leave the house.
