Libido levels can fluctuate, and there may be periods when you experience a decrease in sexual desire. This can lead to feelings of confusion, distress, or even embarrassment. However, it’s important to remember that sexual desire varies from person to person and can change at different stages of our lives.
According to Jacqueline Hurst, author of How To Do You: The Life-Changing Art of Mastering Your Thoughts and Taking Control of Your Life, societal expectations can often pressure men into believing they should always desire sex. However, a decrease in sex drive can be quite common and can lead to a cycle of physical and emotional side effects.
Hurst reassures that it’s normal for both men and women to lose interest in sex occasionally. However, a prolonged period of low libido could be a cause for concern. While it could indicate an underlying health issue, it’s often due to psychological factors or ingrained habits. Here are ten habits that could be impacting your libido.
Excessive Workload
Continuous work stress, such as back-to-back Zoom meetings or overlapping deadlines, can negatively impact your libido. Hurst confirms that stress is a major libido killer and suggests finding ways to manage it. This could involve speaking to a therapist, exercising, spending time in nature, or discussing your stressors with a friend.
Use of Certain Medications
Some prescription medications, including antidepressants and antihistamines, can lead to a decrease in sex drive. If you’re experiencing this side effect, Hurst advises discussing it with your doctor who can suggest alternative medications or provide other advice.
Conflict with Your Partner
Arguments, poor communication, or a lack of intimacy with your partner can also lower your sexual desire. If you’re experiencing these issues, Hurst suggests open communication with your partner or seeking therapy if necessary.
Excessive Alcohol Consumption
While alcohol can lower inhibitions, it can also decrease sexual performance and libido. Recreational drugs can have a similar effect and can contribute to depression and anxiety, which can further reduce your libido. Poor sleep quality after drinking can also impact your sexual desire. Hurst suggests prioritizing self-care to manage these effects.
Low Self-Esteem
Fluctuations in self-esteem can also impact your sex drive. Sex and relationship therapist Miranda Christophers explains that low self-esteem can affect how desirable you feel to others and your perception of your sexual ability. This can lead to the suppression or avoidance of sexual feelings and can further impact sexual function and confidence.
Custom-tailored suits, shirts, and now, condoms. The better the fit of a condom, the more comfortable and pleasurable it will be. A common complaint about condoms is the lack of sensation, often due to a poor fit.
A condom that is too small can be uncomfortable or even break, while one that is too large can slip off. It would be much simpler if condom manufacturers labelled their products as “small”, “medium”, “large”, and so on.
Condomania, a condom company based in Hollywood, California, offers a solution with their TheyFit condom. This custom-fitted condom is referred to as the “couture condom”. To get your perfect fit, you download the Fit Kit, print it, and then measure your erect penis. The measurements correspond to your width and girth. For example, an “M17” would indicate a long and wide penis, while a “J22” would suggest a wide but short penis.
To test these custom condoms, I enlisted the help of a volunteer. After taking his measurements, we sent them to condomania.com/theyfit and awaited the arrival of the custom condoms. According to a testimonial on TheyFit’s website, once you’ve tried a custom-fitted condom, a standard one feels like a punishment.
When the custom condoms arrived a week later, we were skeptical. However, the volunteer was pleasantly surprised by the perfect fit. He described the experience as feeling like he wasn’t wearing a condom at all.
Other condom brands like Trojan, Durex, LifeStyles, and Kimono also offer various sizes to match your needs. Highly rated condoms include the Pleasure Plus, which features a “pleasure pocket” for extra comfort, and the Inspiral condom, which has more room at the top. For those who are well-endowed, Trojan’s Magnum and Magnum XL condoms offer extra width and length.
For those on the smaller side, LifeStyles offers a Snugger Fit condom. However, these are not as popular due to potential embarrassment at the point of purchase. According to Adam Glickman, CEO of Condomania, there has been a recent revolution in the condom industry, with a focus on making condoms feel softer and more natural.
New materials like polyisoprene promise a “skin-to-skin sensation” and transmit body heat, enhancing the experience. The Durex Avanti polyisoprene condom is currently a bestseller at the Hollywood Hustler boutique in California. For those allergic to latex, polyisoprene and polyurethane offer great alternatives.
The Ecstasy latex condom from Trojan features a tapered base and a roomier design, with lubrication on both the inside and outside. While it’s marketed for “her pleasure” due to its textured ribs, the actual experience may vary.
The Trojan Supra condom, made of ultra-thin and strong “Microsheer” polyurethane, offers a more “natural experience”. It’s clear and odour-free, and heats up with friction for a warming sensation.
According to Glickman, the clear colour of these condoms is particularly popular with men of colour, who find that the beige tone of latex condoms can look unappealing.
This article was originally published in the July 2010 issue of British GQ. Anka Radakovich is GQ’s sex columnist.
Question: What are some effective strategies to help her reach orgasm? (EP)
Answer: The key element here is time. If she senses that there’s no rush and that you’re eager and willing to spend the entire day pleasuring her, she’s significantly more likely to achieve orgasm.
However, if you both have other commitments such as work, family visits, or catching a game, here are some useful tips:
**1. **Encourage her to use her breath to enhance the sensation. Breathing is a potent erotic tool. She might find it beneficial to visualize the sensation. For instance, she could imagine a flower blossoming between her legs, its vibrant color spreading up to her breasts, fingertips, and throat. With each breath, the color intensifies throughout her body. This technique works best when paired with a consistent, repetitive motion, like your tongue stroking one side of her clitoris while your third finger applies steady pressure on her G-spot.
**2. **Communicate with her. As you spoon her, lift her hair and whisper in her ear, describing in detail your first encounter or the sensations you experience as you penetrate her.
**3. **Introduce a hint of pain. If she’s on top, dig your fingernails into her waist, leaving small marks; if she’s on her back with one leg raised, run your thumb’s nail along the sole of her foot; if she’s riding you reverse cowgirl in a chair, stroke your fingers along her trapezius then bite into the muscle. (Note: A slap should only be attempted mid-sex if you’re confident you can do it correctly; a misplaced swat can feel clumsy.)
**4. **Help her focus. The biggest obstacle to orgasm for many women is their inability to be fully present, especially if they’re watching the clock. Get her to count, hold a grape in her mouth without bursting it, or remain silent. Do whatever it takes to ensure she’s fully engaged, both physically and mentally.
(Rebecca Newman)
Discovering that you have a sexually transmitted infection (STI) can be a daunting experience. Not only do you have to deal with the physical symptoms, but you also have to navigate the tricky process of informing your past sexual partners. Here are some tips to help you handle this situation with grace and tact.
Get a Diagnosis
Before you start informing others, it’s crucial to get tested and confirm your suspicions. Vague statements about potential symptoms won’t cut it. People tend to panic when they hear about STIs, so it’s essential to provide them with accurate information. Get tested, understand your diagnosis, and learn about the treatment options. This will help you reassure your partners and prevent unnecessary panic.
Choose the Right Communication Method
How you communicate this news depends on the nature of your relationship with the person. For casual encounters, a text or WhatsApp message might suffice. For more serious relationships, a phone call or face-to-face meeting is more appropriate. However, avoid meeting ex-partners in person if the breakup was acrimonious. Ensure your communication is factual and helpful, not gloating or sarcastic.
Timing is Key
Choose the right time to break the news. Avoid doing it during an argument, when they’re distracted, or when either of you is under the influence of alcohol. The best time is in the morning, allowing them to get tested the same day. Ensure they’re calm and prepared for the news. If you’re worried about their reaction, consider meeting in a public place or at the clinic where the staff can explain the situation.
Don’t Play the Blame Game
It’s human nature to look for someone to blame when things go wrong. However, with STIs, it’s not always clear who transmitted the infection to whom. If you’re the one who contracted the STI, be honest about it. If your partner is the one who unknowingly transmitted it to you, avoid blaming them unless they were unfaithful.
Stick to the Facts
If your relationship is casual and no boundaries were broken, there’s no need to delve into emotional discussions. Focus on the facts and the treatment plan. Avoid unnecessary drama that could distract from the main issue at hand.
Be Transparent
If there’s a high chance you’ve passed the STI to them, be honest about it. If you’ve been having sex-with-married-men-appealing/” title=”Reasons Women Find Sex with Married Men Appealing”>unprotected sex with others, let them know. Your partner has a right to know the risks they’ve been exposed to. This information will also help them inform any other sexual partners they may have had.
Plan for the Future
Contracting an STI is a wake-up call to reassess your safe-sex practices. Many people neglect barrier protection if they’re using other forms of contraception or taking PrEP for HIV prevention. However, some STIs can have serious consequences if left untreated. Be honest about your needs and those of your partner, and consider whether your current safe-sex methods are adequate.
Further Reading:
How to Recover from a Break-Up
How to Determine If You’re Good in Bed
The Importance of Being Honest About Sex and Relationships with Your Child
Effective Ways to Eliminate a Hickey (You’ll Thank Us Later)
Our editorial team at AskMen conducts comprehensive research and reviews on the best gear, services, and essentials for life. We may earn a commission if you purchase a product or service by clicking a link in this article.
Chances are, if you’re reading this article, you’re seeking a quick solution to erase the conspicuous mark on your neck, unmistakably known as a hickey. Why the rush to hide it? While a hickey might earn you some bragging rights among your peers, it’s often viewed as embarrassing and inappropriate by parents, teachers, and older individuals. It’s a clear sign of recent intimate activity, which can make those who feel responsible for you uncomfortable, and possibly even a bit upset.
However, hickeys are a common part of the romantic and sexual landscape — even animals give them to each other. Referred to as “love bites” in the animal kingdom, this phenomenon was first studied by psychologist Havelock Ellis in the 1800s. In his research, Ellis found that male mammals would grip the necks of their female counterparts with their teeth before mating. He concluded that this was a display of male dominance over the female, similar to a dominant/submissive relationship. However, in humans, both men and women can give and receive hickeys.
If your parents or significant other’s parents are not willing to overlook the mark on your neck, even after you’ve explained the science and history behind it, you’ll likely want to try and eliminate it as quickly and effectively as possible. Fortunately, there are numerous methods and products available that can help conceal this love mark, regardless of its size. This article will explain how hickeys are formed, the most effective ways to get rid of them, and a few products that can help make them virtually unnoticeable.
Understanding Hickeys
While you know how you got the hickey, you might be wondering what’s happening beneath the skin. “A hickey is essentially a bruise,” explains plastic surgeon Dr. Ryan Neinstein. “Hickeys form as a result of external suction on the skin from kissing or light biting. This suction causes the capillaries (tiny blood vessels) near the skin’s surface to burst, causing blood to leak out and collect in one area, forming a hickey. Areas with soft skin, like the front and sides of the neck and inside of your arms, have more capillaries closer to the surface.”
According to physician and health and wellness expert Dr. Nesochi Okeke-Igbokwe, the size of these vessels also contributes to the prominence of hickeys. “A hickey is essentially a bruise that appears when some of the very small superficial vessels just beneath the skin become damaged and rupture as a result of sucking on the skin.”
As for how long they last, licensed psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle says it depends on several factors. “A hickey can last anywhere between five days to four weeks depending on its size, depth, location on the body, and the individual’s age,” she explains. “Certain medical conditions and medications can slow down the healing process. For example, an iron deficiency can affect healing time. Also, if the individual takes a lot of blood thinners like aspirin or fish oil or non-steroidal anti-inflammatory medications, they may get a worse response. Therefore, those should be stopped.”
Dr. Needle also mentions that the location of the hickey plays a significant role in its longevity. “The more vascular the area, the longer it will last,” she explains. “In an area that is not vascular and very thick, such as with a lot of adipose tissue, it probably wouldn’t be as bad or remain as long as an area that was vascular and had very thin non-muscular, non-fat containing tissue, like the neck.”
Real Men’s Experiences: “During my senior year, my class had a camp out at the beach on Lake Michigan, and things got a little wild,” says Mark, 21. “This was also the day before my high school senior pictures, and a huge hickey was there right on my neck the next morning. I had to figure it out fast, so I used the hickey comb method, where you comb out the hickey to make it look like something other than a hickey — mine probably ended up looking more like a cougar scratch (I was camping out, after all). Then I went looking in the bathroom for something else that would help, and I saw my mom’s concealer. It matched my skin color so I used that to cover it up even more. It worked like a charm.”
Effective Methods to Eliminate a Hickey
Depending on when you notice the hickey and how quickly you act, you have several natural treatment options. Here are a few tried-and-true methods for erasing those embarrassing love bites — or at least reducing their appearance.
Apply Ice
“The first remedy for healing hickeys more quickly is to use a simple cooling method,” says Dr. Neinstein. “Use an ice pack or wrap several ice cubes in a towel and press it on the affected area for 7-10 minutes as soon as possible. Alternatively, you can also chill a metal spoon in the freezer and apply it to the affected area. This will eliminate any swelling associated with the affected area.”
“Applying ice will constrict the smaller blood vessels and hopefully help with the capillaries at the surface,” Dr. Needle adds. “Ice should be applied with some pressure and as soon after getting the hickey as you can.”
Use Peppermint Toothpaste
If you’re using the toothpaste method, it’s important to ensure that peppermint is listed as an ingredient for it to be effective. “By spreading a thin layer of peppermint-based toothpaste on the hickey, the peppermint acts as a calming effect on the skin and any inflammation,” explains Dr. Neinstein. “You may feel the area tingle at first. Leave the toothpaste on until the tingling subsides. Then, gently wipe the area with a warm washcloth.”
Brush It Out
One of the oldest and most frequently recommended methods of getting rid of a hickey is to brush or comb it out. While there’s some debate over whether this makes things worse, the idea is that breaking up the blood clots might make the affected area look less visible. “Use a soft-bristled toothbrush to gently stimulate the blood flow in that area to promote healing,” Dr. Neinstein explains.
Real Men’s Experiences: “I learned how to remove hickeys long ago, when I was in the Army — where hickeys were a punishable offense,” says Mitchell, 31. “If you haven’t done this you may think I’m crazy, but I promise it works (having had to do it myself on more than one occasion). Wet the area of the hickey, and take a comb and place it so that the edges of the teeth are on the hickey (so the comb is sticking straight out, perpendicular to the hickey). Rub the comb up and down over the hickey (keeping it wet, so you will need to keep applying water). Eventually the area will get really red from the rubbing (it doesn’t feel great, but it’s tolerable). The area is going to get really red, and when you can no longer distinguish between the hickey and the rest of the red area, you can stop, and when the redness goes away (fairly shortly) the hickey will have magically disappeared. I’m sure the reason this works is that it breaks up the blood (which is what the hickey is) so that it can be reabsorbed and cleared away by your body.”
We’re not here to preach about the importance of using protection, as you might have heard in your sex education classes. However, we do hope you’re considering it if you’re planning to get intimate soon. The top-rated condoms can significantly contribute to maintaining your sexual health and happiness, especially when used with a good quality lubricant. They also help prevent unwanted outcomes, such as sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or unplanned pregnancies.
While standard condoms from your local store can suffice in most situations, we strongly advise against using an old pack that’s been sitting in your wallet for ages. Investing in high-quality condom brands can provide superior protection and offer unique experiences with features like extra lubrication, ribbed textures, and even flavoured options for oral sex.
There’s a wide range of condom brands available, all designed to enhance your sexual experience without compromising safety. Most are made from natural latex or polyurethane, providing the familiar feel of regular condoms while also enhancing the overall experience.
To help you make an informed choice, we’ve compiled a list of different types of condoms, tips on how to use them, advice on choosing the right size, and our selection of the best condoms available in 2024. We’ve also consulted experts to ensure you find the perfect fit for your needs. So, all you need to do is purchase one, apply it at the appropriate time, and enjoy!
Lelo is renowned for its impressive range of high-quality sex toys. However, our top pick from their collection is the Hex condoms. These condoms feature a unique honeycomb texture and ultra-thin design, ensuring a pleasurable experience for both partners.
As the name suggests, these condoms are covered in ribs and dots across the entire sheath, providing extra pleasure for both partners. They are reasonably priced, making them a top pick.
Mate’s Skyn condoms are designed to be some of the thinnest on the market, offering an ultra-natural feel that enhances your connection with your partner without interrupting the moment.
What is a condom?
If you’re new to using condoms, it’s essential to understand what they are and how they work before you start shopping. “External condoms are a ‘barrier’ form
We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.Ok
