5 Actions Successful Men Take on Tinder by Lisa
Mastering Tinder: Tips and Tricks for Successful Men
For those who date men, Tinder can often feel like a minefield of shirtless mirror selfies, car selfies, and poorly written About Me sections.
Even when a profile is good enough to earn a right swipe, many men sabotage their chances of meeting their matches in person by sending inappropriate or cliched opening messages.
RELATED: Discover the Best Tinder Openers
While Tinder (and dating in general) can sometimes feel like a tedious process, its global popularity proves that it’s a viable way to meet new people.
So, how can you stand out from the crowd on Tinder? What do successful men do differently?
1. Avoid Being Too Generic
Never start a conversation with a simple Hi, Hey, What’s up, etc. Remember, dating is often about marketing yourself, especially when making a first impression.
As a straight man, you may not realize that women on Tinder often receive a flood of matches and messages. They can’t possibly read every message, so they use certain criteria to quickly identify men worth responding to. Sending a generic message won’t make you stand out.
RELATED: Discover the Best Tinder Openers
Pro tip: Use your match’s About Me section and shared interests as a source of inspiration for your opening message.
2. Choose Your Photos Wisely
Ensure your photos accurately represent your current physical appearance. While you might look better in older photos, there’s no point in meeting a match in person if they feel deceived.
If you’re using selfies on your Tinder profile, make sure the background is interesting, such as a travel destination. Avoid using your bedroom wall as a backdrop.
Also, only include a shirtless photo if it’s relevant to an activity you’re doing.
Pro tip: Avoid filling your profile with group photos. This can cause confusion about who you are and you don’t want potential matches to find your friends more attractive. However, one or two photos with friends or doing activities can showcase your personality.
3. Flirt Tactfully — Avoid Explicit Sex Talk
While many women use Tinder for hookups, that doesn’t mean they want explicit sexual messages. Your Tinder messages should be playful and subtly convey physical attraction. Any talk about sex should be saved for later stages of your actual date.
RELATED: Why You Shouldn’t Sext First
Always suggest dates in public places, rather than inviting your match directly to your place or offering to meet at theirs.
Pro tip: Romance novels can inspire a flirtatious messaging style. You don’t have to start reading them, but using similar imagery in a joking way can convey sexual interest without making women feel uncomfortable.
4. Clearly State What You’re Looking for in Your Bio
Instead of just listing your best traits in your About Me section, include a brief description of what you’re looking for. This can make your matches feel more compatible with you and more likely to respond to your messages.
RELATED: An Expert’s Guide to Revamping Your Profile
Consider including a line about your ‘ideal match,’ which can be a mix of serious and playful.
Pro tip: One of my Tinder matches included this line in her About Me: “If you can’t make me laugh … can you make me brownies instead?” This is a fun, light-hearted way to signal that she values humor in a potential date. Using a similar approach in your bio can be very effective.
5. Balance Statements With Questions
In any conversation, you’ll notice that people exchange statements more than they ask questions. While questions can be useful in getting to know someone, a barrage of questions can come off as lazy.
On the other hand, talking too much about yourself can make your match lose interest. The ideal messaging style combines interesting statements with compelling questions, giving your match something to respond to at each stage of the conversation.
RELATED: This One Trait Will Make You More Attractive on Dates
Try sharing something about yourself, followed by a question aimed at getting your match to talk about themselves.
Pro tip: Ask open-ended questions, rather than simple yes/no ones. For instance, “how do you feel about…?” rather than simply “do you like…?”
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