Learning about Relationships from a TikTok Star by Lisa
During the COVID-19 pandemic, I found myself seeking a distraction from the constant stream of distressing news. My search led me to TikTok, where I discovered my new favourite relationship coach, Katie Florence.
Although Florence doesn’t label herself as a relationship expert, her content speaks volumes. The 24-year-old TikTok sensation is a registered behaviour technician who works with children on the autism spectrum. In her spare time, she creates engaging TikTok videos on various topics, including dating, friendships, and the challenges of navigating life in the current climate.
One of her video series features the Kouncil, a group of characters representing different parts of her psyche, such as Logic, Lady Parts, Anxiety, Heart, and Brain. Florence portrays all these characters herself, using clever editing and costume changes. The Kouncil discusses issues like ghosting, the implications of texting a crush first, and Florence’s single status due to her love for magic tricks.
Florence, also known as MissKat on TikTok, admits that she used to think she was “stupid in relationships”. However, she has since realised that she knows the appropriate response in most situations.
So, what makes these TikTok videos so captivating? Initially, I found Florence’s content amusing and relatable, as she shared her embarrassing dating stories. But as I continued watching, I noticed something else. Florence’s videos offer viewers the chance to observe and coexist with the various aspects of their personalities, even when they conflict.
Florence’s lifelong therapy experience and psychology major have provided her with a foundation to explore self-awareness in her work. Characters like Red Flag are useful in understanding relationship situations, while Confidence encourages bold choices. Lady Parts, a character that represents her libido, reminds viewers that it’s okay to desire sex and seek pleasure.
Florence believes that we should all start communicating more with ourselves. She suggests standing in front of a mirror and assuming different characters, or finding other ways to openly communicate with yourself if that feels too uncomfortable. This approach aligns with the therapeutic technique RAIN, which involves recognising your feelings, allowing them to exist, investigating them with compassion, and not identifying with them too heavily.
Florence’s videos teach us that accepting ourselves, with all our random and conflicting thoughts, can lead to deeper self-compassion. She shows us that it’s okay to be upfront about all our traits, providing us with even bigger relationship goals to strive for.
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