Relationship Issues

Are You Bothered by Her Sexual History? by Lisa

Concerned About Her​ Past⁤ Relationships? Here’s​ What You Need To Know

Our resident Dating Guru is an enigmatic character whose identity and location remain ⁣a mystery. However, his expertise in the dating world is unquestionable. He’s been on ‍countless dates and is here to help the ‌average ⁢guy elevate his dating game.

The Dilemma

Hello Dating Guru,

Things are ⁢going well. I recently reconnected with‍ a woman I was infatuated with in college, and surprisingly, she’s‌ interested in me now. ⁣We’ve been on a few dates,‍ and it’s been fantastic. We’re really hitting it ⁢off. However, there’s ⁤a significant issue.‍ She ‍used to be a party girl — she drank a lot and was ​quite promiscuous. This bothers me. I⁤ don’t like the idea of ‍her ⁢being intimate ​with other men. It also makes me question whether she’s ready for a serious ⁤relationship, which is what ⁣I’m looking for. How should I handle this?

– ‌Worried William

The Solution

Hello Worried William,

What should you do? The short answer⁣ is,​ you don’t need to do ‌anything, because this ‍isn’t a serious issue. You’re overreacting a bit. However, your concerns are‍ valid, so let’s delve into ​them.

There ‍are two questions here. The first‌ is,⁣ how ​do I deal with my discomfort about my new girlfriend’s past relationships? How can I stop imagining her being intimate with other men? Essentially, how do I ⁣handle my jealousy?

My advice is to get over it. Seriously. It’s time to move⁢ on.

I⁣ understand your feelings, and they are ‌quite common. Few people enjoy imagining their partner in ⁣the throes of passion with someone else. It’s not pleasant, and it’s not your fault that these thoughts are in your head. I get it.

However, consider this. You wouldn’t want to be judged based on your past relationships, would‍ you? Imagine meeting your ⁤soulmate, and then imagine how you would ⁢feel if she left you ‌after finding out about⁣ a wild night you had at‌ a party once. That would be an overreaction, right? So don’t do that to her.

Unless there’s something‍ you’re not ‌telling me, it doesn’t seem like you think promiscuity is ​inherently wrong. You’re not upset because of moral reasons. You’re just uncomfortable thinking about her past. So, you’re being a bit of a hypocrite. This is normal, but it’s also irrational. The‌ issue here is with you, not her.

Now, let’s move onto the second question, which is whether she’s ready for monogamy. This is⁤ a valid⁣ concern. However, you’re approaching it the wrong ⁢way. You’re making assumptions based on limited information. This⁢ is a mistake.

Consider how little you know about her. You knew her‌ in college as a party girl, but beyond ​that,‍ you know nothing. You might be missing a lot of ​context. Maybe ⁢she was rebelling⁢ against a strict upbringing, or maybe she⁢ didn’t enjoy the party lifestyle as ⁣much as you think. Maybe she loved it, but she’s moved on. The point is, you don’t know her feelings about her past, which is what really matters here.

Furthermore, you’re assuming that people who are promiscuous in their youth never change. This ​is not always the case. ‍As people age, they often realize that there’s more to life than casual flings. I can attest to this from personal experience.

In summary, you’re making assumptions based on limited information. This is a common ⁤issue in relationships. We often forget ⁤how ​little we know about ​others. You’re drawing conclusions that may not be grounded in reality.

There’s a better approach. If⁣ you want to know if she’s ready for a long-term, exclusive relationship, just ask her. She’s the best source of information. Have a conversation about it.⁣ If ​you’re unsure ‍how to start, say something like, “I’ve really enjoyed our time together, but ‌I think we should discuss our relationship expectations.”

It’s trendy to‌ be nonchalant and avoid expressing your desires, but ⁣this is not ⁤a good strategy. It’s important to ensure you and your partner ⁤want the same ‍things.‌ Having an awkward conversation is better than spending nights worrying about your future together. Ultimately, you need to stop overthinking⁣ and start communicating ⁣with the woman in front of you.

Need some dating advice? Email the Dating Guru at [email protected].

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