When and How to Request Money from Your Ex by Lisa
Nowadays, couples are delaying marriage but still choosing to live together around the same time in their relationship, typically just before the two-year mark. This trend has led to a significant number of unmarried, cohabitating individuals, much to the dismay of traditionalists. While this delay in marriage has contributed to an 18% decrease in the divorce rate from 2006 to 2018, it has also left those who separate before legalising their union in a tricky situation. Marriage, despite its perceived outdatedness and hefty price tag, offers a range of legal protections, including financial safeguards in case of a split. Without these legal provisions, breaking up can become financially challenging, leading some to request their ex-partners to contribute towards the costs incurred due to the breakup.
Compounding this issue, many people are grappling with debt, housing shortages are prevalent in many cities, and home ownership among young people is declining. Consequently, when individuals move out after a breakup, they often face the burden of breaking leases or paying double rent until they find a new roommate. However, these are not the only financial concerns associated with breakups. As Alicia McElhaney, founder of She Spends, points out, “It’s not just breaking a lease or a mortgage. Packing your stuff up, finding a new place. That all adds up pretty quickly.” Furthermore, an ex-partner may refuse to pay for things they had previously agreed to, making the breakup not only emotionally but also financially painful.
Fortunately, in this digital age, one can request money from an ex without the need for face-to-face interaction or complex bank transactions. Apps like Venmo, Cash App, Zelle, and PayPal have simplified the process of asking your ex for financial support. However, the convenience of these apps has also led to some rather unusual requests. With the ease of requesting money comes the potential for pettiness.
Interestingly, it is generally more acceptable to ask for larger sums of money, provided there was an agreement or contract regarding its use. McElhaney explains, “If they owe you money for rent, or mortgage payments, or anything big where the both of you are in a contract to pay for something, and they leave that contract, I think it’s more than reasonable for you to ask for [their share of] that money.” She also suggests that if a partner had agreed to split the cost of a significant purchase like a trip or a new mattress, it is entirely reasonable to ask them to honour that agreement. The circumstances of the breakup also matter. For instance, if your partner cheated on you or left without warning, you generally have more leeway in asking for financial compensation.