Online Dating Tips

Tips for Presenting Your Best Self on Bumble by Lisa

Bumble, ​the⁢ app that empowers women to make ‌the first move, requires a unique ​approach if you’re⁢ aiming for a response. Forget about‌ the​ mindless ⁤swiping, dull one-liners, or​ unsolicited risqué photos. To stand out⁤ on Bumble, you need ‍to shift your mindset.

Authenticity ⁣is Key

Your profile ⁢should be both aspirational and ​realistic. Posing with luxury cars⁤ or exotic ‌vacations might seem ⁢impressive, but‌ they don’t reveal ⁢anything about⁣ your personality.‍ The places you visit ⁣and the reasons ‍behind your travels are far⁢ more intriguing.‌ While it’s⁤ true that women value security⁣ and confidence, ⁤coming off as arrogant can be a turn-off. Avoid making exaggerated claims about your lifestyle, such as enjoying “the ‍finer things in life” ‍if you’re not genuinely affluent. Bragging is⁤ off-putting, and dishonesty is unacceptable.

Listing your⁢ favourite music ⁢genre in⁢ your profile‌ can come ⁤off ⁢as pretentious. At the age of 30, your music taste is your personal preference, and​ it’s not something that needs to be shared​ on a dating profile. It’s better to ‍focus on aspects that‌ genuinely reflect⁣ your personality.

Also, steer⁣ clear⁢ of negativity. A long list of⁢ things you dislike can make you ‌seem unappealing. ⁢Remember, the ⁤goal is to attract, not repel potential matches.

Choosing ‌the Right Photos

Having a variety ⁢of photos is ⁢essential. Include a full-body picture, but⁣ keep it‍ decent. A series of selfies can raise eyebrows – ⁣it’s better⁢ to have photos taken​ by others. Include a photo with ⁢your friends to give a glimpse of your social circle, but ensure ​you’re sober⁣ and presentable ⁣in it. Candid shots that capture ‌great moments are also a good idea. Photos with ⁤pets⁢ or engaging in⁤ interesting activities can be quite appealing. However,⁢ avoid irrelevant landscape⁢ photos unless you’re in them. Overly staged photos can also be a turn-off.

Spark Curiosity

Including a question in your profile can be a great conversation starter. It can be humorous, ​silly, or serious, as long‌ as it encourages a response. You can either provide an answer in your profile or playfully suggest that they’ll have to get in touch to⁢ find ⁤out. The goal is to⁣ pique⁣ their interest, not scare ⁣them away. So, avoid ‌asking inappropriate questions⁣ that⁤ might make them uncomfortable.

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Digital Dating: The New Rules by Lisa

Are you confident in your ​online dating skills? You might be making ⁣some common mistakes. The advent of online dating has made it ​simpler to ⁣connect with potential partners, but this doesn’t mean you can disregard⁤ basic etiquette. As we’ve adapted to new technologies, our behaviours have also changed, leading​ to a new set of rules for digital dating. You might not be​ sending unsolicited explicit photos ‍or negging, but you could still be committing other digital ‍dating faux pas like⁤ Tindstagramming or breadcrumbing. Not sure ​what these terms mean? Here are some common online dating mistakes to ‌avoid:

Ghosting (but Caspering is okay)

Ghosting ‌someone you’ve‍ met ⁤in person is generally frowned ⁤upon, and the same⁣ applies to those you’ve connected with online.⁤ If you’ve exchanged several messages, it’s only ⁣polite to ⁤say​ goodbye before disappearing. Sex educator Alix Fox⁤ suggests “Caspering” as a friendlier alternative ⁢to ghosting: send a final message ​explaining that ⁢you don’t⁤ think you’re a good match, then feel free to disappear or block them.

Listing your height in your Tinder bio

Listing your height as the first or only thing in your bio is a no-no. Your bio should reflect your personality, not your physical attributes. Avoid clichés, excuses about online dating, and copied jokes. And remember, Myers-Briggs types are just horoscopes⁢ for pseudo-intellectuals.

Tindstagramming

Tindstagramming is when you message someone on Instagram after failing ⁢to⁣ match with them on Tinder. This⁣ behaviour can be perceived as annoying or even⁣ stalkerish. If they didn’t match with you on ⁢Tinder, they’re probably not interested.

Creating a shopping list

Your dating app bio ⁢should highlight your best qualities, not list your preferences as if you’re ordering a coffee. It’s off-putting and entitled. If you’re still single, it might not be because you have high standards, but because you’re coming⁣ off as unlikable.

Gym selfies

While it’s great to be proud of your body, understand that women scrolling through dating apps have seen plenty of shirtless photos. If you want to show off ​your physique, make it your second picture and include ‌your ‌face. The goal is to show that you’re an interesting⁤ person who also happens to have a great body.

Swiping right on everyone

It’s common for men to swipe right on everyone and for women to be more selective. But remember, dating isn’t about getting as many matches as possible. Focus on improving your bio and crafting ⁣a ⁤good opening message to ‍attract the matches you’re genuinely interested in.

Sending a lengthy first message

A first message should be more⁢ than just “Heyyy”, but don’t go overboard. Writing too much can make you‍ seem desperate or self-absorbed.‌ Keep it to two sentences: one commenting on something in their profile, and one asking a ‍question.

Sliding into DMs

It’s possible to flirt ⁢outside of dating apps, but be careful. Sliding into DMs has‍ a sleazy reputation, but it can be done respectfully.⁣ Start by building a rapport,​ and if they reciprocate, you can attempt a DM. If ⁢they ⁤don’t respond, back off.

Reply guys

Balance is key. Constantly liking ⁤and ⁣responding​ to someone’s posts ⁣can come off as ‌desperate. ⁣A “reply guy” is‍ someone who responds to every post, even if they never ‍get a‍ response. ​This kind of over-enthusiasm is more likely to push someone away than attract them.

Deep-liking

Deep-liking is when you accidentally like​ an old⁢ post while scrolling⁤ through someone’s social media. If you’re caught, own it‍ or delete ⁣your⁣ account in‌ embarrassment.

Breadcrumbing

Breadcrumbing is when you string someone along with occasional messages for an‌ ego boost, even though you’re not interested in them. ⁢If you’re not planning to take things further, it’s better to focus your efforts​ elsewhere.

Inappropriate​ Xs

Never end a work email with a kiss. Digital communications have⁣ become less formal, ‍but the potential for misunderstanding is high. Use a smiley emoji instead. And no, ⁤I don’t⁤ want to connect with you⁤ on LinkedIn.

Digital Etiquette by Victoria⁤ Turk ⁣(Ebury Press, £9.99) is available now.

READ MORE:

Tinder‍ tips for ⁤the best openers and winning bios

What it’s like to have your dating profile​ publicly shamed

Ask For⁣ Angela: the scheme keeping women ‌safe on Tinder dates

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