Steps for Having Your First Digital Date by Lisa
On a typical Friday night in the Bay Area, 25-year-old Daniel was getting ready for a first date. He styled his hair, donned his favourite shirt, tidied his room (just in case), and spritzed on a new cologne to set the ambiance. Daniel, who requested to be identified only by his first name, poured himself a glass of wine and positioned it next to his laptop on his desk. He then logged into Zoom, a platform typically used for professional video conferencing, and waited for his Hinge match to appear. When she did, it was clear they had different expectations for the evening: she was in her pyjamas.
Just a week ago, singles in the United States who had been engaging in conversations on dating apps and planning in-person first dates could no longer ignore the looming threat of the coronavirus pandemic. As the CDC issued guidelines for social distancing, traditional first-date spots like bars, restaurants, and music venues became off-limits for responsible individuals. The only viable alternative, albeit imperfect, was to shift to virtual meetups on video chat platforms like Zoom, FaceTime, and Skype.
In Brooklyn, 27-year-old Judy Kwon had been exchanging messages with a potential suitor on a dating app. They had planned a date to cook dinner together, but as COVID-19 escalated into a national emergency, this became impossible. Their first video call was on Saturday, a brief encounter filled with humorous facial expressions to fill the silence. They spoke again on Sunday, and then for an extended period on Monday. By Tuesday night, they were cooking separate meals and eating dinner together over FaceTime.
Judy confesses that the uncertainty of when she’ll be able to meet her virtual companion in person is stressful. However, she appreciates the deeper conversations that this situation has prompted. “There are obviously a lot of drawbacks to this, but at least for me, this [scenario] has prompted more serious conversations,” she says. “It’s made us more in touch with our feelings, for sure.”
In Denver, journalist Zack Newman, who is self-quarantining after exposure to a COVID-19 positive individual, matched with a woman on Coffee Meets Bagel. They began exchanging increasingly lengthy text messages and decided to try a FaceTime date on Monday.
Zack views this as a hopeful act in these challenging times. ”In these times, continuing to date in some capacity is a really hopeful act. That would assume there’s a dating future worth pursuing, and I think there is. I’m trying to embody that as much as I can,” he says.
Both Zack and Daniel prepared for their virtual dates as they would for an in-person one, with Zack working out and showering beforehand, and Daniel dressing up and applying cologne. They both had ice-breakers ready to steer the conversation away from the pandemic. Zack believes it’s important to discuss other topics, while Daniel and his date shared their unique talents, leading to an impromptu karaoke session.