Begin by considering your partner’s desires. Whether it’s planning a romantic evening at The Beaumont or simply remembering to pay the parking meter, it’s important to pay attention to the details. However, if you find yourself in the middle of the act and realize that your rhythms are not aligning, what should you do?
A reliable strategy is to focus on her clitoris. You can do this by adjusting your thrusting pattern so that your pelvis rubs against her, or by slowing down your pace to a point where you can accurately use your thumb. This same level of precision should be applied to other acts such as nipple pinching, spanking, or a wet finger pressing against her backside. Half-hearted attempts are beneath you – either do it well or not at all.
If you find yourself in a position where the above strategies are not feasible, control your pace. When she’s nearing climax, unless she enjoys the female equivalent of the vinegar strokes – a highly sensitive state where she’s writhing, begging, and bucking beneath you, in which case don’t change a thing – you might be able to find a steady, deep rhythm that you can sustain for a while and that will drive her wild.
Alternatively, you might want to stop all action and tease only the very entrance of her vagina (where the most nerve endings are) with the tip of your penis. This can be a game-changer.
Another approach is to engage her mind. Tell her how aroused you are, how incredibly hot she is, how she is your everything, or how she’s a naughty girl who is unworthy of your royal manhood. Words can be a powerful tool.
consider introducing some contrasting sensations: during intense, rough sex, take a moment to gently kiss the nape of her neck; during tender, intimate missionary, firmly grasp her buttocks, letting her feel the point of your nails. Enjoy.
Regardless of where you fall on the sexuality spectrum, navigating a hookup app for the first time can be intimidating. Despite their somewhat notorious reputation, don’t let past experiences deter you - each encounter is unique and knowledge is power. So, you’ve installed Grindr (or any other gay dating app) and are now faced with a plethora of profile pictures. What’s next?
Scout the Scene
Before initiating a conversation, take some time to explore the app. Even if you’re not attracted to certain users, check out their profiles. What information are they sharing about themselves? What are their hobbies? By understanding the general vibe of the men in your vicinity, you can better identify what you’re seeking (beyond the obvious). Be aware of users with diamond emojis, dollar signs, or bags of coins in their bios – these could indicate that they expect payment for their time. Phrases like “Looking for a room” may also suggest that the encounter won’t be free. It’s always good to be informed.
Set Boundaries
Men on these apps can sometimes be direct and even rude. Remember, you have the power to block or ignore anyone – you don’t owe anyone a response. If a user seems kind and genuine but you’re not interested, a polite decline is a nice gesture, but not obligatory. While it’s important to approach these apps with an open mind and without judgement, you don’t have to tolerate offensive behavior such as racism, ageism, body shaming, or general rudeness. Block and move on. And never emulate such behavior.
Engage in Conversation
Some frequent app users get annoyed by men who prefer to chat extensively before meeting. However, someone who is genuinely interested won’t mind. Gather as much information as you need before meeting them. If their taste in music is important to you, ask them. If you want to know about their past relationships, ask them. If they’re not interested, they’ll let you know. If you explain why you prefer to chat more, they should understand.
Respect Boundaries
There’s no obligation to send explicit photos, even if the other person has sent one first. It’s not uncommon to receive unsolicited explicit photos or to have one sent as an initial message without even a greeting. While this approach may work for some, it doesn’t mean you have to reciprocate.
Location Matters
The question of who can host is a common one. Typically, this means you’ll end up at his place or yours – unless it’s a visitor or businessman in a hotel, for instance. The best or safest option is subjective, but consider the aftermath. If you prefer a quick encounter, meet at his place, as some hookups may overstay their welcome. If you feel safer at home, invite them over and practice saying, “I really must get going, thanks for a lovely time” while opening the door. Or, you could mention that you’re married to a very jealous wrestler. Don’t worry about tidying up – they likely won’t notice. Just ensure the bed appears clean. Keep any valuable items like laptops out of sight – while it’s unlikely that a hookup would steal your belongings, you’ll enjoy the encounter more without worrying about your possessions.
Many of my clients often inquire, “How can I revive our sexual relationship after an affair? I’ve tried to forgive, but it’s challenging to forget the betrayal and rebuild our intimacy.”
Interestingly, it’s not uncommon for couples to experience a surge in sexual activity immediately after an affair. As one of my clients, Felicity, shared, “Our sex life was the best it had been in years. It felt like I was trying to erase the memory of his affair by creating a powerful sexual connection between us.” However, this heightened sexual energy is often short-lived. Felicity found herself haunted by thoughts of the infidelity, with unwanted images of her partner with another woman disrupting their intimacy.
Felicity expressed her frustration during our therapy sessions, “I don’t want these images. I’ve chosen to stay with Sam, but these images are a hindrance. I despise them.” To help her, I introduced techniques to alter these images and lessen their impact. She learned to desaturate the images in her mind, turning them from vibrant colours to shades of black, grey, and white. She then distanced the image until it was a mere speck in her mind’s eye.
Felicity was astounded by the results. “When I do this, I feel entirely different! I’m no longer upset.” She chuckled, “And I feel ready to reconnect with Sam! It’s amazing.” She continued, “Sometimes the image returns, full colour and close. But each time, I push it away until it’s just a speck on the horizon. This technique works! Then I feel better and can enjoy being intimate with Sam again.”
Another client, Andrew, had a different journey. He believed he had forgiven his partner, Sheila, but struggled to forget. Despite wanting to resume their sexual relationship, he found himself continually avoiding it. During our therapy sessions, we discovered that his tendency to suppress his anger was causing issues. We worked on safe ways for Andrew to acknowledge and express his anger. As he began to voice his feelings about the affair, his anger subsided, and he felt ready to be affectionate again.
I advised them to take things slow. “Start by taking a bath together, then progress to massaging each other,” I suggested. “When you both feel ready, you can move on to sensual touch. Only then, when you’re both comfortable, should you resume your sexual relationship.” A few weeks later, they reported, “We’ve been making love again, and everything is fine.” Three months later, they were able to discuss the affair and appreciate the self-growth they had experienced.
Undeniably, the arrival of a child can significantly alter the dynamics of your sex-until-now-2/” title=”My partner and I, at 66, have only engaged in oral sex until now”>intimate life. The ripple effects of this life-changing event can be felt in every corner of your relationship, with your sex life taking the most noticeable hit. But what does this really mean? Is it all negative? Should you be truthful if she inquires about any changes in her body? And is she genuinely suffering from another headache? Let’s delve into the topic of sex after childbirth.
There are numerous reasons why mothers, especially new ones, may experience a dip in their sexual desire. The most apparent reason is fatigue. Lack of sleep can make everything seem like a burden. It might be disheartening to learn that your partner views intimacy as another task on her to-do list, similar to cleaning the bathroom or sending a birthday card to Uncle Alan. However, in this case, the phrase “It’s not you, it’s me” holds true. She’s simply exhausted.
There was a time when I fell asleep on the toilet. I was jolted awake when my head hit the radiator. Our baby was about four months old then, and not once in those 16 weeks did I eagerly anticipate my husband’s return home for some intimate time. In fact, I was convinced that I had become asexual. Even if you had offered me a handsome, charming man, I would have preferred watching a TV show.
Read more: A mother’s guide to resuming sex after childbirth
If your partner is currently grappling with extreme fatigue, be patient. Assist her in getting some rest. I’m confident that these actions will gradually alleviate any sexual indifference. This approach is likely to be more effective than making suggestive comments while she’s busy with household chores.
Even after the fatigue has lessened, hormonal changes may still affect her libido. Did you know that lower estrogen levels, especially in breastfeeding mothers, can cause vaginal dryness and decreased arousal? So, when she says she’s “not in the mood,” it’s not an excuse; she’s genuinely not feeling it. And when she does get aroused? Her breasts might leak. While this doesn’t bother many couples, some men might not be comfortable with it.
Then there are the emotional aspects to consider. How is she feeling? How are you feeling? How is she feeling about your feelings? The end of the pregnancy might bring some relief, as the fear of harming the baby during sex, no matter how unfounded, can dampen the mood. However, post-childbirth, she might have a plethora of concerns. These worries can persist even after the baby’s first birthday. What if you both associate sex with the graphic scenes from the delivery room? What if she asks you to describe any changes in her body? (The vagina is incredibly resilient, so there’s usually no cause for concern. But if she insists on honesty, choose your words wisely – “slightly less snug” is acceptable, but “loose” could lead to serious relationship issues.)
Additionally, the fear of having more children might affect your sex life. You’ve known about the consequences of sex since those awkward sex education classes in school. But witnessing your child grow and develop might make these consequences seem more real.
Discussing Love, Women, and Dating: An Insight into Trey Songz’s Perspective
Trey Songz, a renowned figure in the music industry, shares his thoughts on love, women, and the dating scene. This article delves into his personal experiences and viewpoints, offering a unique perspective on these universal themes. The content is enriched with relevant images, enhancing the overall reading experience.
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Summer is here, and with it comes the familiar scent of barbecues, the inevitable tan lines, and the sight of your own knees more often than you’d like. It’s the season of weddings and holidays, and while it may seem daunting for those who are single, it’s actually the perfect time to enjoy your freedom. Here’s how to navigate the summer months while maintaining your sanity and dignity.
Embrace Fitness and Show Off Your Physique
Welcome to summer, the only season where it’s socially acceptable to walk around shirtless. July and August are your golden tickets to flaunt your physique. So, hit the gym, get familiar with protein balls and salads, and forget about carbs. Be ready to go shirtless at a moment’s notice.
Enjoy Outdoor Activities with Friends
Being single means more time for simple, fun activities that often get sidelined when you’re in a relationship. It’s like reliving your youth, minus the awkward fashion choices. Celebrate your freedom by playing football or frisbee in the park with your friends. And remember, being shirtless can be a great conversation starter.
Have Fun at Barbecues
Barbecues can be a mixed bag, but as a single guy, you have the freedom to enjoy them on your own terms. Show up, have fun, flirt a little, and leave before the toddlers can spill their drinks on you.
Transform Your Garden and Enjoy a Cold Beer
Embrace the therapeutic benefits of gardening. Create a beautiful space, invest in stylish garden furniture, and spend your summer enjoying nature with a cold beer in hand.
Embark on an Unforgettable Holiday
Take advantage of your freedom and go on a holiday that’s all about you. Whether it’s an adrenaline-fueled adventure, a geeky convention, or a hedonistic retreat, make it a trip to remember.
Discover Yourself
Use your newfound free time to embark on a journey of self-discovery. Whether it’s attending a retreat, writing your autobiography, or simply spending time alone, embrace the opportunity to get to know yourself better.
Revamp Your Wardrobe
Being single means you’re free to experiment with your style. Summer is the perfect time to discover your inner fashionista. Who says you can’t pull off wide-leg trousers? The answer is no one.
Experience Summer Dating
Being single doesn’t mean you can’t date. Summer dating can be a wild ride, with plenty of unique events and opportunities to meet new people. And remember, sunglasses are your best friend – they allow you to discreetly check out others without your date suspecting a thing.
Be the Coveted Single Guy at Weddings
Weddings can be a goldmine for single guys. Arrive looking sharp and ready to dance, and you’ll soon be the center of attention. Take advantage of the opportunity to meet other singles and have a great time.
Enjoy Regular Nights Out with Friends
This one is self-explanatory. Enjoy your freedom and have fun with your friends as often as you like.
Explore Casual Relationships
Summer is a time when people are more open to casual relationships. As long as everyone is on the same page and practices safe sex, there’s no harm in having a bit of fun. Just remember to be respectful and considerate of others’ feelings.
Upon reaching Lambeth Palace, I find that despite my atheism creating a divide between me and the Archbishop of Canterbury, we both share a disdain for tardiness. We’re both punctual, ready to start even before the GQ film crew has set up. The Archbishop, whose real name is Justin Welby, takes this delay in stride, engaging in both casual and serious conversation. He even presents me with a birthday card, acknowledging my birthday from the previous day. Later, in the vestry, he surprises me with a homemade birthday cake, and we find another commonality – we’re both in our early sixties (he’s 61).
There’s a plethora of topics to discuss. Naturally, religion is on the table. My statement, “We don’t do God,” has become a frequently quoted phrase from the Blair era, sparking weekly letters from theologians curious about its meaning. (For the record, it wasn’t meant to hold the weight it has seemingly acquired.) But our conversation isn’t limited to religion; we also delve into politics, touching on Brexit, Trump, climate change, migration, the Pope, and the Queen.
The day before our meeting, the Archbishop had been in the company of Barack Obama and Angela Merkel, and he appeared quite awestruck, particularly impressed by Germany’s response to the refugee crisis, which starkly contrasts with Theresa May’s government’s approach. Terrorism is also a pressing issue, as our meeting takes place less than a week after suicide bomber Salman Abedi, in the name of his god and Islamic State, killed 22 people in Manchester.
We also explore the remarkable narrative of the Archbishop’s life. Raised by two alcoholics, his mother was an employee of Winston Churchill, and his con-man father turned out not to be his biological father. Welby discovered last year that his real father was Anthony Montague Browne, Churchill’s deputy private secretary. His journey to God, through the oil industry and the tragic loss of a child, is another compelling aspect of his life story.
Alastair Campbell: [To film crew.] Let’s get moving, guys. Apologies for saying “For God’s sake.”
Justin Welby: Don’t fret, after eleven years in the oil industry, I’ve heard it all. I’m always patient.
Believe it or not, you’re more likely to come across an extraterrestrial being than find your soulmate on a night out in London. The odds are about three in a million. That’s 500 times less probable than discovering intelligent life elsewhere in the cosmos.
However, don’t let this discourage your quest for love. This intriguing statistic comes from the viral PhD paper, Why I Don’t Have a Girlfriend. It served as the basis for a discussion on digital dating by The Kit Cat Club, a renowned women’s speaker and discussion group that has been active since the 1980s. The panel highlighted the potential benefits of online dating. Despite recent criticism of dating apps, The Kit Cat Club’s researchers found numerous advantages to shifting the search for love from the bar to the browser. The vastness of the online dating pool not only introduces you to people you wouldn’t typically meet but also allows you to be more selective in your choices.
From a societal perspective, this shift has had a progressive, positive impact. With a third of marriages now beginning online, platforms like Match.com, OkCupid, Tinder, and Bumble are contributing to increased diversity. There’s a direct link between the rise in interracial marriages among newlyweds (currently at an all-time high) and the popularity of dating apps and websites. Furthermore, online dating is set to surpass bars as the primary meeting place for couples, rendering any stigma associated with online dating as outdated as your old CDs.
The Kit Cat Club’s keynote speaker, Louise Troen, the global brand director at Bumble, reinforced this point. GQ found that the most popular opening line is a straightforward “I’ll meet you on [insert day of the week] at 7pm”. Troen also revealed that on a single Thursday, 87,000 people worldwide joined Bumble. With over 26 million users in more than 150 countries, the app has led to over 20,000 marriages and the birth of over 6,000 Bumble babies. Quite impressive, considering the often negative association between online dating and inappropriate images.
Troen shared other intriguing insights, such as medical sales being the most attractive profession, Monday being the pickiest swipe day, and Sunday being the most active day on the female-forward platform. She also announced that Bumble will soon launch “Bumble travel”, a feature that will allow users to connect with others outside their current location, making it easier to arrange a drink with a like-minded individual while on a business trip.
Bumble, where women make the first move, is arguably the dating app most in tune with the #MeToo movement. “We’ve identified a form of feminism that is inclusive to men,” says Troen. “It isn’t about being aggressive or angry, it’s about saying, ‘Come and sit at the table with us, let’s talk about this [together].’” Bumble insists that all users, regardless of gender, adhere to what Troen refers to as Bumble’s “checkbox of principles”. These principles, centered around equality, demand respect, progressiveness, and a desire for a meaningful connection.
The researchers also identified a rule for online dating, often referred to as the “creepiness rule”. This rule suggests that daters should consider their own age and that of potential partners. The lower limit is half your age plus seven, while the upper limit is double your age minus seven. While this may be disappointing for those who “don’t see age”, the silver lining is that as you age, your dating pool expands. For instance, a 23-year-old might only be able to “acceptably” pursue 18 to 23-year-olds online, but a 42-year-old can comfortably date anyone from 28-70. Don’t shoot the messenger, it’s all in the data.
How well do you treat each other in your relationship? Sure, you might share household chores and cook meals together, but what extra steps do you take to make each other feel special? If you’re worried that you’re not doing enough, don’t rush out to buy a last-minute gift. Instead, consider starting a new tradition: date night.
Understanding Date Night
Date night is a dedicated time slot in your schedule for you and your partner to enjoy each other’s company. It’s a time for just the two of you (or more, if you’re into that) to focus solely on your relationship. No kids, no friends, no third wheels allowed.
What Constitutes a Good Date Night?
While spontaneity can be exciting, it’s not always practical. Your calendar is probably filled with tentative plans that often fall through. It’s surprisingly difficult to find free time, and if your date night becomes a chore, it loses its appeal. By setting a specific night each week for date night, you create a non-negotiable commitment to each other. It’s a bond that can’t be broken or rescheduled. It’s date night.
Can Date Night Happen at Home?
While it’s possible to have a date night at home, it’s important to make it feel different from a regular evening. Maybe you could decorate the living room with fairy lights and enjoy a pampering session together. However, ideally, you should venture outside your home. Exceptions include a lavish home-cooked meal that took all day to prepare or a special intimate evening. Remember, staying in and being intimate should not be the only form of date night.
Is Going to the Pub Enough?
Just going to the pub might not be the most imaginative date night idea. Sure, you can go to the pub, but it might come across as a bit lazy. Exceptions include a fancy cocktail bar or a pub in a new location that’s part of a multi-event date night. Essentially, the pub visit should be a part of a bigger plan.
What About Dining Out?
Dining out can be a great date night idea, but it needs to be special. Will this dinner spark new conversations and help you see each other in a new light? Are you trying a new restaurant, or is the food exceptional? If so, great! But if it’s just a regular dinner out, save it for another night. Unless it’s a new experience or a special treat, it’s not a date night.
What If We Enjoy These Activities?
That’s great, but the point of date night is to do something different from your usual routine. If you don’t distinguish between date night and regular activities, you risk retroactively labeling any activity as a date night.
For example, if you ask, “What are we doing for date night this week?” and the response is, “Well, we went for a pint at the Dog & Divorcée and got a takeaway on Tuesday, didn’t we? Shall we say that was date night?” then you’re missing the point of setting aside special time for each other.
Being someone’s plus-one can be both a privilege and a challenge. On one hand, you’re the chosen companion, trusted to behave appropriately and likely considered attractive. On the other hand, you’re often seen as an extra, a placeholder, or simply a body in the room.
Attending an event where you’re unfamiliar with the crowd can be an exciting experience. It’s like stepping into a live theatre production or your own version of the Truman Show. However, navigating such an event requires some guidelines. These may vary depending on the nature of the event, so use your judgement to apply them appropriately.
Prepare Yourself
Prior to the event, get a brief overview of who will be attending. Understand who your companion likes or dislikes and any social dynamics you should be aware of. If your companion starts getting too detailed, consider asking for a simplified version or even requesting payment for your efforts.
Support Your Companion
As a plus-one, you’re essentially an extension of your companion. This means you should support them and refrain from negative comments or actions. In group situations, become their biggest fan. Laugh at their jokes and agree with their statements, unless they’re being self-deprecating, in which case you should boost their confidence.
Exercise Discretion
Even if your companion has shared all the juicy details about the guests, act as if you’re hearing the information for the first time when interacting with others. Practice your “surprised face” and “interested face” beforehand. Remember, as a newcomer, you’re likely to hear a lot of stories. Respond with enthusiasm and interest.
Be a Social Bridge
As a plus-one, you’re free from any existing awkwardness or tension among the guests. You can safely engage in conversations others might avoid. Use this opportunity to help your companion connect with people they’ve had difficulty with in the past. Your presence can help others see your companion in a new light.
Dress Appropriately
While you want to look good, remember that the focus should be on your companion. Ask for dress code suggestions, but use them as a guide rather than a strict rule. You want to be remembered for the right reasons, not for standing out inappropriately.
Behave Properly
Being a stranger at an event can be disorienting, especially if you’ve had a few drinks. Remember to behave appropriately, stay by your companion’s side, and avoid becoming the center of attention. Your role as a plus-one is to support your companion, not to steal the spotlight.
Enjoy Yourself
The best way to thank your companion is by having a good time and involving them in the fun. However, avoid crossing any boundaries, such as flirting or getting involved with other guests. As a plus-one, your role is to be admired from afar, making your companion the envy of others. If you catch someone’s eye, discreetly exchange contact information. Soon, you might find yourself being invited as a plus-one more often.
Further Reading:
Recycling: It’s Not About Your Sexual Orientation
