Marital Problems

Sex Lives: A Man in a Loveless Marriage Finds Pleasure on Webcam Sites by Lisa

In this edition of “Sex Lives”, we delve into the sexual journey of James, a 63-year-old from the East Midlands.

My ​sexual awakening was triggered ‍by​ my neighbour. Around the age of ⁢seven or ⁢eight, I lived in a detached bungalow in a cul-de-sac. The bathroom was located on the side of the house,‌ directly opposite the bathroom of the neighbouring ⁢bungalow.‍ I developed‌ a habit of having secret conversations through the window with the boy next door, who was around my age. ‌I would eagerly wait for his bathroom light to turn ‍on, ‌and then I would switch mine⁣ on, hoping he was there. He would ‌often climb onto the bath naked to⁤ open his window, and I would try to catch a glimpse ​of his silhouette through​ the frosted glass. I‍ was unsure if he felt the same arousal. I would fantasize about him, but never had any actual experiences. This ignited my interest in voyeurism and exhibitionism, as well‍ as my ⁢attraction to the same sex, which has ‌remained⁢ throughout my life.

I recall feeling guilt and shame about my attraction to ⁣both genders. I⁣ have always had a⁢ stronger preference for women,⁤ so my interest in men was always kept a​ secret. In my early teens, I discovered cottaging, and I began⁤ frequenting public toilets to both observe and be observed while masturbating. This was thrilling, dangerous, and sexually satisfying, but also ⁣induced feelings of shame. I have always ‌enjoyed masturbating, but I think I was around nine when I experienced my ‍first productive orgasm. The intensity of the pleasure was mind-blowing. I‌ don’t recall ‍if I​ was fantasizing about anything specific, but ⁤the memory of how I achieved it is clear.

I lost my virginity to a girl who later became my wife. I was 17 and in my final year of A-Levels, and she was 16. We⁢ had ‌sex‍ for the first time at her parent’s house while⁣ they were⁢ out during the school holidays. It was better than I had anticipated, and we ⁢never looked back. Our​ relationship was great for the first few years. I was⁤ attracted to her⁢ vulnerability and certain physical attributes, like​ her hair colour.⁢ I also ‌appreciated her tactile nature and her openness to public displays of affection, which ⁤was new ‌to me. However,⁢ problems arose after‍ we got married and had ‌children. Our sex life declined significantly after our third ⁢child, and ⁢then she had an affair with a friend’s husband. We separated, and I was devastated.

I met my current wife on a swingers’ website. After‌ my divorce, I had several stable, long-term relationships with women, with ​a few casual flings in between. ​However, I usually ended ⁣relationships to avoid​ further heartbreak. I was dumped once, and in retrospect, this led me to seek relationships with a kinky element. My relationship with my current wife began as a sexual encounter, but gradually developed into‌ an emotional connection. We dated for a couple of years, lived together for three, and then decided to get married. We’ve ⁣been married for 10 years now⁤ and⁣ don’t⁢ have any children. Our sex ‌life was ⁤great at the ⁢beginning but, like many married couples, it dwindled over the years. It became sexless after about seven years, and we’ve never discussed it. I believe this is due to differing libido ⁢levels and ⁢the ageing process. Despite this, I believe we’re happy outside of the bedroom, although I have cheated on my⁣ wife ‍a few times. I meet these⁤ women through swinging and ⁤fetish sites, and the relationships have all been purely sexual. I​ initially felt guilty and ⁣ashamed,‌ but I’ve grown accustomed to it. I sometimes rationalize it⁢ by thinking ​that, since my first wife cheated on me, ⁣this somehow gives me the ⁤right to cheat on⁤ my second wife.

I discovered ⁢cam sites in the late ‘90s. I consider this a milder form of cheating. I sometimes join chat rooms aimed at ‌women or ⁣couples who want to be watched, and engage​ in conversation; this can lead to camming with them in a private room. I find this a good way to connect with couples‌ who are new to swinging, rather than the more experienced swingers. Being watched is often a​ stepping stone for couples venturing into the swinging or kink lifestyle. I’ve⁣ always‍ had a‌ major kink for watching others. I think​ it started when I used‍ to watch a couple of my classmates who would openly kiss in the​ playground at secondary school, and I’d⁣ later fantasize about joining them. I participated in the dogging craze when it‍ became popular in the UK in the early ‘00s, but most often, I ⁢simply masturbate on cam and wait for⁢ people ‍to watch⁣ me.

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