Methods for Attracting Women by Lisa
Desire to Attract Women? Here’s What You Should Be Doing
Throughout the animal kingdom, males have evolved unique methods to attract their mates.
Peacocks flaunt their vibrant tails, jumping spiders engage in intricate dances, Eurasian jay birds offer food to their partners, and lemurs use their scent glands to signal their good health. Similarly, human males employ various strategies like using specific colognes, perfecting pickup lines, and spending countless hours at the gym. But what if there was a way to eliminate the guesswork and truly understand what attracts women?
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It’s important to remember that every woman is unique and there’s no universal formula to win their hearts. Some women are attracted to beards, while others prefer a clean-shaven look. Some are drawn to outgoing personalities, while others are attracted to quiet confidence. However, experts suggest certain universally appealing tactics.
“Being authentic is the most important thing,” advises Kate Anthony, a relationship expert, divorce coach, author, and podcast host. “Women are attracted to authenticity and are put off by men who pretend to be something they’re not. Dishonesty and pretense eventually reveal themselves and are not worth it. If you’re not wealthy, that’s fine. We prefer to know the real you rather than discovering later that it was all a lie.”
Keeping this in mind, here are some foolproof strategies to attract women.
1. Be an Active Listener
“Women appreciate a man who listens attentively,” says Ksenia Droben, a dating coach, matchmaker, and CEO at Droben Matchmaking. “Recognition is a basic human need, and active listening is the easiest way to provide it.”
A 2015 speed dating experiment supports this, finding that women are more attracted to men who are present and attentive. You can demonstrate active listening by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and asking follow-up questions.
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2. Excel at a Skill
Whether it’s cooking, playing the guitar, surfing, or anything else, women are attracted to men who excel at something. The specific skill doesn’t matter as much as your passion and dedication to it.
“Mastery is the most attractive trait — excelling in something you’re passionate about,” says Magda Kay, an intimacy expert and relationships coach. “Mastery signifies determination and commitment, qualities that women admire.”
3. Enhance Your Emotional Intelligence
A 2021 study of 7,000 daters found that women prioritize intelligence and emotional connection when looking for a potential mate.
“Women seek emotional safety,” says Anthony. “We don’t want to be your therapist, your mother, or your punching bag — we want to be your partner.”
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Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions and those of others. A sign of high emotional intelligence, or “EQ”, is the ability to remain calm and help others do the same in stressful situations.
To cultivate EQ, start by being aware of your own emotions. Identify and name them as they arise, and observe how your emotions influence your behavior. Research shows that mindfulness practices like meditation and breathwork can help improve emotional intelligence.
4. Show Purpose and Passion
Most women are attracted to successful men – but success isn’t necessarily measured in monetary terms, says Droben.
“A man’s success is often expressed in his passion for a cause, especially if he has a larger mission,” she tells AskMen.
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What aspects of your job are you most passionate about? What motivates you to get up in the morning? What kind of impact do you want to make on the world? These are the questions you should be asking yourself.
Identifying your purpose can translate into drive, focus, and confidence — traits that are highly attractive to women.
5. Set Goals
Another way to attract women, says Kay, is to show that you’re goal-oriented. Whether you’re working towards building strength at the gym, growing a side business, or saving up to build your dream house, having a goal is attractive.
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“Women value this because it fosters trust and reliability, especially when envisioning a future together,” explains Kay.
6. Practice Kindness
The notion that nice guys finish last is a myth.
In 2019, the app Clue surveyed 64,000 women about what they look for in a man. The results showed that 88.9% of women consider kindness to be a crucial trait when choosing a partner. In fact, women prioritize kindness over intelligence, confidence, and physical attractiveness.
“Women observe how a man treats others,” says Kay. “They want assurance that a man is capable of empathy and compassion.”
A 2013 study found that women tend to be attracted to altruistic men who do good deeds. So, why not find a volunteering opportunity that aligns with your passions?
7. Cultivate Self-Awareness
Confidence is built on self-knowledge, so it’s important to understand who you are and what you need to work on to be the best partner you can be, says Anthony.
Every man has some baggage — whether it’s related to their upbringing or past romantic relationships. What’s important is how you deal with that baggage. A woman can’t fix your trust issues, fear of commitment, or attachment disorder — but she can support you as you work through them with therapy or other healing modalities. The bottom line? A woman wants to see that you’re taking steps to understand and improve yourself.
“We want to know that you’ve been to or are in therapy and have outside resources for processing your emotions,” adds Anthony. “How you’ve managed to process and work on your trauma is what sets men apart. When you don’t work on this stuff, it toxifies your system and leaks out the edges. Women just want men who are mentally and emotionally healthy first. The rest will follow.”
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