Personal Stories

The Significant Difference Between Dating Older and Younger Men: A Personal Experience by Lisa

Almara Abgarian wearing red lipstick⁣ and a black ‌top⁢ standing in front⁤ of a brick wall
Who makes better lovers: older or younger men? (Picture: ⁢Rachel Adams 2023)

In my late 20s, I had an intimate relationship with a man who was 16 years older⁤ than me.

David* and⁤ I moved in ⁢similar circles and kept crossing paths. ​His ⁤confidence, which I found attractive, ‍was abundant, and he often wore suits – a⁢ weakness of⁣ mine at the time.

Although‌ I wasn’t particularly ‍concerned about his early 40s age, such⁣ a significant ‍age difference was a new experience for me.

Before‍ him,⁣ the oldest person I’d been with was an ex who was nine years older than ⁤me.

My time with David was enlightening.

Unlike my peers, he didn’t just want to sleep with me and ‍then roll over to sleep. He saw exploring my body as ‍a privilege‍ and took⁣ the time to understand ⁤my⁣ body ⁤more than any‌ lover ⁢my age⁤ ever had.

Since ⁤then, I ‍have⁣ been⁤ with⁢ more people older than me, but I’ve also been with ‍younger men.

With age ‍gap relationships⁣ predicted to be the biggest dating trend in 2024, I’m on a mission ​to answer the ‌question: do older or younger men make better lovers?

Out of ⁤respect, I’ll start with the older men.

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Almara⁢ laying on her bed, wearing⁣ denim shorts and a denim jacket

Ensuring her partner’s ⁣safety has always been ⁤crucial to Almara (Picture: ‌Rachel Adams 2023)

In my⁣ 20s, being with older ⁤men made me feel secure during a time when‍ I was still discovering myself. Trying new things in bed can be intimidating when you’re‍ inexperienced, ⁢and I ‌found it easier to experiment with them, knowing I⁣ was in good hands.

They never made me feel foolish for my⁤ lack‌ of⁤ experience.

On the contrary, ⁤like David, ⁢most were eager to demonstrate their skills, acting as my ‌’teacher’ in bed – and I was a willing learner.

However, these​ relationships weren’t without their challenges.

I was more conscious of the pressures of their lives, which sometimes ⁤intruded⁣ into our intimate⁣ moments.

Some of these lovers also had a preferred way of doing things. And sometimes it ⁣felt as if​ they had the‍ upper hand due to the inherent power‍ dynamic ⁢that ⁢comes with large age gaps.⁢

Subconsciously, I ‌viewed their opinions and methods as more significant than my own, given their greater life experience. It took me ⁣years to ⁣realize that I didn’t have to follow their‌ lead.

This issue hasn’t been ​as prevalent with​ the younger men I’ve been with – the youngest being my ⁤current boyfriend, who ‌is 28 (I‌ am 34), ⁣but there have been others before him.

However, now that I’m the older one, ​I’ve been ‍more‍ concerned about​ ensuring they don’t fall for the​ power imbalance I ⁢once did ‍as the younger party.

Ensuring my partner’s safety has always been paramount to me.​ I’ve ⁣always checked in with lovers to ensure they are comfortable with our situation and encouraged them ​to express their ‌wants and desires.

Despite my efforts ⁤to‍ communicate ​openly and satisfy​ my partners, younger men⁢ haven’t always reciprocated. ⁢

A former lover – who‍ was five years younger than me – was exceptional in bed. He ​was ⁢always giving, which I appreciated. But outside of the bedroom, he lacked emotional depth.

This soon became draining and⁣ was the reason⁤ I eventually told him to leave.

Almara Abgarian photographed at home by Rachel Adams

I may be very vocal​ now, but ⁣I ⁣wasn’t ⁤always this way (Picture: Rachel Adams 2023)

If you want to turn me on, my mind needs as much stimulation as my body – a‌ fact ‍younger men don’t seem to fully appreciate, at least in my ⁤experience.

However, what they sometimes lack in‌ maturity, they make up​ for‍ in enthusiasm.

When I was 28, I had an unforgettable one-night stand with a 24-year-old man named Jonas*. He was one of the most enthusiastic sexual ​partners I’d ever had,⁢ and I also felt very⁢ comfortable around ​him.

Because of that, I felt able to⁢ be the⁢ more dominant character, take up more space, ⁣and tell ‌him exactly what I wanted and ⁣needed.

Although I’m‍ very ‍vocal now, I wasn’t always this⁤ way. And statistically, women are less likely to ⁤speak up in bed. ⁣Fortunately for me, Jonas was‍ not ⁤only‌ happy ‌to follow ‘orders’ but also wasn’t afraid⁣ to take the​ lead.

One thing I’ve noticed that‍ both groups have⁤ in common is that‌ they ⁢could ‍become ⁢jealous ⁤or resentful‍ when‍ it ⁢became clear I had been with more ⁤people⁤ than‍ they had. Sometimes they told me ‘you’ve been around’ directly, other times it​ was a twitch‌ of ​the lip⁣ or a raised eyebrow.

Occasionally, ⁣their treatment of me worsened (which is usually when I ended things).

Thankfully, as we all know, no two people are ‍alike. And as ​a result, there are pros​ and ‍cons to being intimate with people older or younger than ⁤you.

I can⁢ only ⁢speak‍ from my⁣ own experience, ⁣but my⁣ past has‍ shown me that choosing a sexual partner ‌is never straightforward.

Older‍ people (including myself now) often​ have more baggage that can creep into the bedroom‌ – ⁣from unresolved⁣ emotional​ issues and ex-partners, to ⁤job problems and general ‍stress – but this can also be a positive because the more experience we have, ⁤the⁣ better‌ we learn to communicate our needs and ⁢deal with life’s challenges, including ⁣in the bedroom.

While younger people may still be ⁢figuring out what they like‍ in bed or how to please a partner, ​they ⁢are more ⁤aware of things such as the ⁤importance of pleasure and​ consent, which has been a major topic⁣ of⁣ sexual discourse in recent years.

It’s also worth noting that there are age gap limits.

Simply put, if you’re worried that someone might ⁤be‍ too young or old for you, they probably are. You⁢ have a responsibility to​ consider the​ other person’s wellbeing, as well as ⁤your ​own.

So while this might be the latest dating trend, it should never just be about jumping⁣ into bed with the ‌next attractive older man you see.

As for who⁣ is‌ ultimately better ⁣in bed, well, sex is ⁢relative.⁤

Regardless, every lover can teach​ us⁢ something​ valuable.

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