Sex Lives: A Man Overwhelmed by Grindr After Losing His Virginity
In the series Sex Lives by GQ, individuals share their sexual journey and the evolution of their sexuality. This week, we hear from Jack, a 27-year-old bisexual man from Seattle.
My sexual awakening happened during a family outing to watch Die Another Day. A scene featuring Halle Berry stirred something in me, right there in the cinema. I was the one holding the popcorn, and in my excitement, I ended up spilling it all over the floor.
I began masturbating at a young age, around first or second grade. I would sneak peeks at online porn or Victoria’s Secret catalogues and stash them away for later. However, I wasn’t very adept at covering my tracks online and ended up infecting the family computer with viruses. When my mom discovered my online activities, she cautioned me that what I was seeing wasn’t representative of real love.
I lost my virginity at the age of 21. I experienced puberty quite early, which made my school years awkward. I had a significant growth spurt, my voice broke in fifth and sixth grade, and I struggled with severe acne. In high school, I became deeply religious, which led to feelings of guilt about my strong sexual desires. Around the same time, I began to realize my attraction to men, which I tried to suppress. I eventually lost my virginity to a woman I met on Tinder. It was a night of many firsts for me – my first kiss, my first sexual encounter. However, I was unable to climax and ended up returning to my studies.
After losing my virginity, I joined Grindr. The experience was overwhelming, and I was unfamiliar with the lingo. I received messages inviting me to orgies and asking if I liked to “party”, which I later learned was code for drug-fuelled sex. I found one man attractive and expressed my interest in him, but he turned me down, saying that my first time with a man should be special. However, I wasn’t looking for anything special. My attraction to men often depends on how I feel about myself. When I feel attractive, I find men more appealing. My attraction to women, on the other hand, remains constant, regardless of my self-image.